Two powerful companions for the healing journey. One helps you recognize the patterns. The other helps you release them. #MelodyBeattie #CodependentNoMore #TheLanguageOfLettingGo #HealingJourney

"We react because we think we have to react. We don't have to. We don't have to be so afraid of people. They are just people like us." —Melody Beattie, Codependent No More You can keep your peace and still be strong. ✨ melodybeattie.com/subscribe #MelodyBeattie #CodependentNoMore

Codependents that begin the spiritual awakening journey, eventually come to realize that it was never them that was wrong, it was only their programming. The subconscious mind does not argue with what the conscious mind accepts as factual. If you were raised to live in fear, and you have also learned that by remaining hypervigilant you avoid additional pain, criticism, and pain of some kind, your subconscious mind does not argue with your conscious mind. You develop codependency as a way to protect yourself from further emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical harm. Fawning, people-pleasing, and subjugating our needs become part of our survival mechanisms. However, on the healing path, those subconscious patterns MUST be challenged. Healing the patterns and programs that have been accepted by the subconscious mind is a MUST and once you begin this miraculous life-changing journey, you too will begin to understand you were never not enough and needing others to offer you the right to feel enough was only a false limiting belief you adopted as a means to survive in childhood. If you’re ready to break free from codependency and reclaim your authentic self, I invite you to join my 12-Week Breakthrough Coaching Program. For a limited time, you can get 50% off and start your journey today: lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp All my love, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Author of The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12-Week Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp #codependencyrecovery #healingjourney #innerchildhealing #spiritualawakening #breakfree #peoplepleasing #selflovejourney #subconsciousreprogramming #traumahealing #healyourself #emotionalhealing #personalgrowth #selfworth #boundariesmatter #innerhealing #healingpath #codependentnomore

I wasn't happy, but oddly enough, I wasn't clear about that reality. I was too busy worrying about what my ex was eating for breakfast, how he felt, and his opinions about me. ​​​​​​​​ Was I a good enough wife? Was I a good enough mother? Did he think I was smart? Was he angry because I asked him to help me with the kid's homework? Was he going to ignore me after dinner because I brought up something he didn't want to talk about?​​​​​​​​ All my mind did was worry; oddly enough, I never even realized it. ​​​​​​​​ That is what codependency does to you. When you are codependent, you swirl with anxiety and fear and lose yourself more each day as sinking emotions drain your soul from its life force.​​​​​​​​ My codependent relationship worked as long as I didn't think, feel, or express my truth. And yes, the crap hit the fan when I began looking within and taking accountability for how I felt authentically. And no, the fake, superficial codependent marriage I took part in creating could not withstand the truth. ​​​​​​​ I regret that while living below the veil of consciousness, reacting to subconscious abandonment wounds, seeking approval, and trying to find ways to be good enough, I wounded my three innocent children. It wasn't just me or my ex that suffered. They suffered as well. ​​​​​​​​ And that is why I swore that if I ever figured out my sh**, I would do everything I could to help other wounded adult children reclaim the ability to speak their truth and live authentically. My main goal is to help codependent mothers heal themselves so they can heal their children. When we align with the divine, we heal ourselves and our children. In this way, we help heal the world. ​​​​​​​ All my love, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Author of The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12-Week Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program lisaaromano.com/12wbcp #codependencyrecovery #healingcodependency #codependentnomore #emotionalhealing #reclaimyourself #selfworthjourney #innerchildhealing #consciousparenting #healyourchildren #motherwoundhealing #spiritualhealing #authenticliving #healyoursoul #lisaaromano #codependencycoach

Attachment issues are the root of many of our relationship woes. What we never received as a child, we tend to crave in our adult relationships. -Did you grow up feeling unheard? If so, you may crave feeling understood and be sensitive when you feel like others are not paying attention to you. -Did you grow up feeling abandoned and unloved? If so, you may crave attachment and become fearful when partners get quiet or need space. As adult children with abandonment and attachment issues, it’s our aim to learn to integrate with the divine self and to merge with the inner child. Dear One, be your own mother. lisaaromano.com All my love, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Author of The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12-Week Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program lisaaromano.com/12wbcp #abandonmentissues #abandoned #anxiety #decay #mentalhealth #healing #bpd #depression #mentalhealthawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #trauma #abandonment #codependency #seekers #bpdawareness #and #abuse #mentalhealthmatters #childhoodtrauma #lostplaces #bpdmeme #dissociation #recovery #loveaddiction #codependentnomore #codependencyrecovery #loveyourself #motherwound #motherwoundhealing #lisaaromano

Research suggests, the world is becoming more narcissistic. Our ancestors; hunters and gatherers needed one another to survive. A sense of community and oneness held budding civilizations together where each individual played an integral part to ensure the survival of all. A narcissist in the group would have been quickly understood as a threat to all. Sadly, as time marched on, and civilizations grew, the world came to know the tragedy of narcissistic leaders who rejected other groups of humans as disposable. Narcissists rebuke community, and are lost within the grandiose narrative they hold of themselves in their minds. Community is only welcomed if it boosts the narcissist’s ego. Individuals are means to an end. As technology continues to replace in person face to face meetings, handshakes, hugs, and kisses, as well as makes it easier to reach someone across the globe, in addition to the rise in narcissistic traits amongst humans, it makes sense to a) manage our own narcissistic traits and b) be aware of the destructive force in others who are so below the veil and addicted to the self they will never awaken to how their self absorption impacts others. May your heart be filled with love for your divine self, as well as love for others, the planet, and humanity itself. May you be willing to pluck out within yourself traits, thoughts and behaviors that cause you to live in fear. Dear One, you are enough. You are an extension of all that is. You are as important as any star in the sky. Avoid sour cucumbers, turn from what depletes you, and place your focus upon the love you are and in time, the community you seek you shall find. Honor red flags, know they never turn green, trust your gut, and love yourself enough to know healthy humans don’t hurt other humans. Stay in the frequency of love for the divine self, and your body will tell you when you are dealing with a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Then, listen to your body. It has a direct link to the divine 🙏 With compassion, curiosity and consciousness, there is nothing we cannot heal or achieve. lisaaromano.com/boundary-bui… All my love, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Author of The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12-Week Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program lisaaromano.com/12wbcp #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticrelationship #narcissist #codependencyrecovery #codependentnomore #codependency #codependent #codependentsanonymous #innerchildhealing #innerpeace #innerwork #innerhealing #innerstrength #lisaaromano #12weekbreakthroughcoachingprogram #toxicpeople

Nearly 40 years ago, Melody Beattie wrote the book that would change the way we talk about relationships. #MelodyBeattie #CodependentNoMore

Dear One, when I was below the veil of consciousness, I didn’t know it. That’s the true travesty of codependency. We don’t know what we don’t know. Even though I could hear my mind wrestling with resentment, unhappiness, guilt and bewilderment, I had no clue how to become objective and question why I felt the way I did. Nope, I woke up everyday anxious and worried about what other people thought about me, and obsessed over how to meet other peoples needs. I had no clue I was faking happiness, and that my lipstick was a mask for how empty, lonely and ashamed I felt on the inside. I was trained to seek approval and to believe that I was unworthy and so no, I didn’t know how to honor my authentic self. Heck, I didn’t even know I had a self. That’s why codependency is so sad, and dangerous. We don’t know that we are operating in ways that are destroying any chance of happiness and until our lives become unmanageable, we continue living with our noses barely above the water line. Dear One, codependency is not our fault, but, if we don’t address it, we die having never lived one authentic day. And that’s just ridiculous when you consider that each of us is the divine incarnate. We must strive to live above the veil where we can grow our awareness, expand our consciousness and master our minds! Ready to Breakthrough? lisaaromano.com/btwm-special All my love, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Author of The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12-Week Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program lisaaromano.com/12wbcp #codependencyrecovery #healingcodependency #breakfreefromcodependency #codependentnomore #emotionalhealing #innerchildhealing #healyourself #selfawareness #consciousliving #breakthroughmindset #awakenyourself #mentalwellness #mindmastery #reclaimyourpower #liveauthentically #selfworthjourney #findyourvoice #personaldevelopment #growthmindset #healingjourney #lisaaromano #breakthroughlifecoach

Are you codependent? If you asked me if I was codependent thirty years ago, I would have said no. In fact, because I complained a lot about what I didn’t like, I thought I had self esteem. I thought that complaining was a sign that I was in control and aware. Nope…in fact, prior to me complaining, I stuffed my emotions, bit my tongue, and scoured my environment for clues for how to fit in. Just about everyone represented an authority in my life and the fear of rejection plagued me, although I was unaware that this is what was operating below the veil. Only because I was near death, and I knew I was not modeling healthy behavior for my children did I have the courage to acknowledge within my self what made me sick to face. Codependency meant I was inauthentic, controlling, and resented those I was catering to. It meant I played mind games too, and expected people to guess at what I needed so I didn’t have to expose my needs and chance having the real me rejected. And while it is true, my issues with codependency stemmed from childhood wounds, the authentic me could not emerge until I faced how emotional trauma twisted my beliefs systems, controlled my rationalizations, and caused me to operate from the perception of a wounded fragile ego. The reality is that Codependency will trap you in one way relationships you end up resenting and feeling suffocated by. No, codependency recovery is not for the faint of heart, but it will make an emotional warrior out of you. Dear One, forgive yourself. It was never you, it was your programming. If we don’t heal from codependency we will forever attract those on the same shame based frequency. Healing raises our emotional and vibrational signature and that’s exciting. CODEPENDENCY RECOVERY TOOLS: members.lisaaromano.com/offe… All my love, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Author of The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12-Week Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program lisaaromano.com/12wbcp #codependencyrecovery #healcodependency #breakthecycle #emotionalhealing #innerchildhealing #healyourself #traumarecovery #mentalhealthhealing #selfawarenessjourney #codependentnomore #selfempowerment #selfhealingjourney #personalgrowth #emotionalgrowth #healingjourney #riseabovetrauma #emotionalintelligence #healingfromwithin #lisaaromano #breakthroughlifecoach

I became codependent because I never felt safe enough to laugh, cry, or express emotion. It was unsafe to be myself. It felt safer to stay constricted, hypervigilant, and alone. Adult children from alcoholic, narcissistic, or emotionally abusive homes often had to flee from reality to survive. We escaped into fantasies because the pain was too big to process. We denied our emotions for the sake of peace, protection, and to avoid more abandonment. We never felt truly seen, heard, or valued by the very people we needed most. So we became perfect daughters and sons to the impossible to please—and shut down emotionally, stuck in survival strategies we couldn’t name. We grew up and attracted people who mirrored our childhood wounds. We coped the only way we knew how—fawning, people-pleasing, anticipating everyone else's needs but our own. Codependency is the result of repeated emotional abandonment, neglect, and unresolved trauma. It is not a flaw. It is a response. A brilliant survival strategy that no longer serves us. Healing from codependency means awakening to truth, bursting through fantasy, and finally unfolding into your authentic self. You are worthy of love, of being seen, of consistent warmth and validation. Healing begins the moment you decide to become the love you’ve always craved. Be the love you seek, Dear One. And allow yourself to finally see the innocent, divine, worthy being you are. I created a free codependency quiz to help others begin this journey. You can take it anytime at 👉 lisaaromano.com This will stop the anxious brain long enough to activate metacognition—one of the human superpowers I help clients develop on their healing journey. Enjoy 💛 All my love, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Author of The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12-Week Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program lisaaromano.com/12wbcp #traumarecovery #breakthecycle #narcissisticabuse #boundariesmatter #emotionalhealing #childhoodtrauma #codependencyrecovery #complexptsd #emotionalneglect #reparentingyourself #selfworthjourney #healingcodependency #survivormindset #codependentnomore

When you grow up feeling chronically invalidated, you develop people-pleasing tendencies. As an adult, by default, you tone yourself down, minimize your needs, and live without a healthy connection to your authentic self. – Outside conscious awareness, you seek approval. – Beneath the veil of consciousness, you seek permission to feel what you feel and think what you think. – You’ve been conditioned to crave validation, and without realizing it, you hold your breath waiting to be told you have a right to look within and question who you are. – Manipulative people love people pleasers and codependents, — because codependents struggle to set boundaries and root their identity and self worth in how well they can please, appease, fix, heal, rescue, and keep others happy. and live from their authentic truth Yuck…but we can’t fix holes in the walls we can’t see…so let’s keep going and be adutls about our healing and recovery… On the healing journey, you may be shocked to discover how often you apologize simply for feeling or needing. Dear One, for today, don’t apologize when you realize you feel or think differently than others. Stop focusing on agreeing with others for their fake approval. Stop allowing fear to win out over your divine right to individuate. Stop allowing the inner child to outshout the adult in you that knows you are enough and that you were not born to deny the self for the sake of another imperfect mortal human being’s approval. Learn to sit in your own skin and honor what you feel, despite noticing others may not be happy with your new level of self-awareness. This is hard, but this is also where you breakthrough. Diamonds are created under pressure. CHOOSE to be a diamond, embrace the struggle and you will be emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially victorious, I promise. You have not come to live a reactive life. You have come to create a life that reflects your authentic self. You never, ever heal what you do not deal with and so, that’s why I created this free resource. This free resource will kickstart your healing journey. It will give you key foundational principles that just may spark hope, and higher emotional intelligence. And hey, its a gift, from me to you. Download today. Free Inner Child Kickstart Program lisaaromano.com/DailyExercis… All my love, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Author of The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12-Week Breakthrough Codependency Recovery Program lisaaromano.com/12wbcp #emotionalhealing #healingjourney #traumarecovery #innerchildhealing #selfhealing #selfawarenessjourney #selfgrowth #selfdiscovery #authenticself #selfempowerment #codependencyrecovery #peoplepleasing #boundariesmatter #stoppeoplepleasing #breakthecycle #lisaaromano #lifecoach #innerchildwork #innerchild #codependency #codependentnomore #selfhelp #emotionalhealing #adultchildrenofalcoholics

Subscribe to Melody's newsletter at melodybeattie.com/subscribe to get her meditations directly in your inbox. #MelodyBeattie #DailyMeditations #CodependentNoMore

Do you feel disloyal when you dare consider telling the truth? One of the greatest invisible stumbling blocks to healing and recovery is feeling as if you are being disloyal when you dare speak of your family dynamics honestly. -You will feel guilty -You will feel like you are exaggerating because you know others had it worse than you did, or so you think and assume, to help deaden your anxieties, fears, and trauma -You will wonder if you are making something out of nothing, especially if your parents swept things under the rug, and after major blow ups, verbal or emotional attacks, simply went back to business as normal leaving you scratching your head and wondering if you're just too-sensitive. Trauma arrests you, hinders your ability to be completely honest, vulnerable, and intimate in relationships, keeps you critical and distrustful, and limits your capacity for intimacy. If you struggle to acknowledge, accept, or surrender to the truth of your childhood, you remain trapped in a cycle of old vibrations, recycling fear-based thoughts, smiling on cue, pretending you're okay even when you're not, expecting others to read your mind, fearing the act of truly letting go, and not even realizing that what's holding you back is your fear of speaking the truth. But, Dear One, when you start to let the light in to where those cracks reside, and you surrender to the truth, the healing energy of that truth sets you free in ways you have never dreamed of. Your life will be as lovely, meaningful, and abundant as you allow yourself the permission to feel, speak, live and surrender to the truth. Breakthrough with me this July, as we start the next LIVE 12 Week Breakthrough Program lisaaromano.com/12wbcp #setboundaries #truth #FamilyDysfunction #toxicfamily #adultchildrenofalcoholics #codependency #fearofintimacy #fearoffailure #codependentnomore #mentalhealthawareness #complextrauma #motherwounds #narcissisticabuse #emotionallyimmatureparents

We are saddened to learn of the passing of Melodie Beattie, author of Codependent No More, on February 27, 2025. Her daughter shared the news today on her official Facebook page. Few individuals have had as profound an impact on the field of codependency as Melodie Beattie. She touched countless lives in meaningful ways through sharing her recovery journey and insightful wisdom. Her writing, both simple and beautiful, spoke to those grappling with people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the many facets of codependency. It's no wonder that nearly 40 years after the initial release of Codependent No More, it remains a staple recommendation for therapists helping clients navigate these challenges. Our heartfelt condolences go out to her family and all those who loved her. 💙💜💚 #Melodiebeattie #codependency #codependentnomore

I knew when I was entering into an empowered state of codependency recovery when he said, “You’re crazy,” and I said, “You’re entitled to your faulty perception of me!” BOOM #breakthroughwithlisa #codependentnomore #narcissisticabuse #codependencycoach

No matter how selfless you are, to a narcissistic person you’ll always be perceived as selfish. #letgo #narcissisticabuse #breakthroughwithlisa #codependentnomore #enmeshed

Our ideas about love are formed in childhood. If mom was codependent and put her needs aside for the sake of her partner, she may have believed that by pleasing him, he might stop drinking, validate her, or offer her affection. If dad was a narcissist, you may have learned to criticize your partner for not being who you want them to be, thinking relationships are about dominance and control. If one of your parents was a rescuer, you might confuse loyalty with healthy love, bypassing logic and reason while focusing on what’s best for everyone else, but not you. You may have idealized partners, believing that one day they’ll become the person you know they can be, all while ignoring what’s right in front of you and denying how you truly feel. If you’re trying to change someone you love, you’re wearing the wrong glasses. Codependency distorts our ability to see clearly. When we try to change someone, we’re in denial about what love really is. codependency is essentially a subconscious distortion of the self, rooted in the faulty paradigm that has us believing we are not enough--which distorts all of our understandings about love and relationships. It's up to us to come out of denial, to break the chains of the past and shift our mindsets from faulty self perceptions to whole and autonomous self perceptions. Love is seeing things as they are, not as you want them to be. Love is embracing your true feelings, not denying what your gut is telling you. Love is about making conscious decisions, not escaping into fantasy thinking. If you’re in a relationship where you’re trying to change someone and they’re trying to change you, it’s time to pause long enough to see the dynamic for what it truly is. Only then can you regain a healthier starting point and begin making conscious, not subconscious, choices about love. 📌 Take the FREE Codependency Quiz: lisaaromano.com All my love, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Author of the #1 Bestselling Book The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12 Week Breakthrough Codependency Bootcamp The Conscious Collective Mastermind 🔗 lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp #codependency #healthylove #loveis #relationshipawareness #selflove #healingfromcodependency #relationshipgoals #codependencyawareness #toxiclove #loveyourselffirst #codependentnomore #breakingfree #narcissisticabuse #healingjourney #relationshiphealing #growthinlove #selfworth #healingfromthepast #emotionalhealing #truelove #healthyrelationships #lisaaromano

Narcissists are very clever. They read you like they read the newspaper. They know when you are going to back down, give in, and aim to keep the peace. They know when you need them to be kinder, gentler, and more vulnerable with them, and they use this emotional data as a manipulative tool against you. To remain in my toxic marriage, I told myself lies all day, every day; I just didn't know I was doing it. Childhood programming rooted in feelings of unworthiness conditioned me to fear disapproval and beg for approval simultaneously. It was as if I was brainwashed to learn how to tango with a rattlesnake and to feel responsible if I ever got bit. Codependency twists your reality from below the veil of consciousness, and without understanding what a toxic relationship is, and why codependents so often end up in relationships with narcissists, it can be nearly impossible to extricate yourself from the relationship. Once I learned I was codependent, and I could see how I was playing right into the narrative of someone who devalued me to feel better about himself, that's when the light went off, and that's also when I realized family, friends, and neighbors were never going to support me because, to them, he was a Boyscout. I walked away anyway and today I am living my best life, healing more each day and proof that real mature love is possible! We got this! Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Bestelling Author of the #1 Bestselling Book The Road Back to Me Creator of The 12 Week Breakthrough Codependency Bootcamp lisaaromano.com #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissist #narcissisticabusesurvivor #codependencyrecovery #codependent #codependentnomore #lisaaromano #theroadbacktome #12weekbreakthroughcoachingprogram #breakthroughwithoutlimits #breakthroughwithlisa