ALT Parchment scroll titled “Prophecy of the Day — Book of Memes, 7:32” shows the Prophet with a red, white, and blue beard and a black top hat with a gold “P,” standing on cracked, dry earth. He holds a wilted plant in one hand and a bag of coins in the other. In the background, red flames rise behind scorched trees. The prophecy text reads: “And lo, the rivers dried and the forests burned, yet the people still counted their coins. When the last tree falls, no chain shall save them.” Beneath it: “Hodl not only your bags, but the earth that beareth them.” At the bottom is the hashtag #JoinTheProphet.