The Unfiltered Truth of a Lived Life
What is my greatest fear? Well, it’s a few things. One is being boring, because security has always been so close to my heart—in life as much as in love.
Sure, take me to a theme park and I’ll ride every insane coaster without blinking an eye, even if I puke my soul out afterward. My niece loves that about me. You can put me through any shit; I’m down for whatever. But the truth is, I often care more about the safety of others than my own. I’m such a klutz because I’m always watching out for everyone else—once I even left a sharp drill bit lying around and stepped right on it, slicing my entire sole open.
My other fear is being seen only as a trophy, and not as a whole human being. A man who needs his quiet moments to think. Who pushes a decision back because he isn't sure about the risks yet. That’s what happens when you’ve only ever been able to rely on yourself because no one else was willing to take the risks with you. But with the right partner, that changes instantly into something positive.
Yes, I’ve been a prisoner of my own fears, but only because the other half was missing to make me whole. I believe you are that part. So forgive me if I still seem slow or uncertain; it just won't fit in my head yet. I don’t have a fancy degree or a privileged background. I just have a 'lived life' that had fewer sunny sides and a lot more shadows. This is all so new, and so incredibly hard to grasp.
And yes, I’ll probably apologize for it another 1000 times. I know it’s a weakness that weighs on me, a shadow I can't seem to shake just yet. But it’s there because I care—because I’m terrified of dropping the one thing that finally makes me feel whole. Forgive me for the repetition, but when you’ve walked on sliced soles for so long, you forget how to step lightly into the light.
#PostHypeRealism #TheHonestFake #LivedLife #ShadowWork #FinalBossVulnerability #NoPrivilegeJustHeart #TheMissingHalf #ArchitectureOfFear