Joined August 2011
- Tweets 109,989
- Following 1,465
- Followers 50,260
- Likes 126,551
6,264 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Mar 7
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lot of movies and tv now is just jingling keys for the dumbest cocksuckers alive but “grizzled special forces veteran badass saves crippled attack dog for 2 hours” might take the top spot
It’s not who you live for… It’s who you’d die for. Watch Brad Pitt in the new trailer for David Ayer’s HEART OF THE BEAST - only in theatres September 25th.
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Jun 13
Wedding ceremony tomorrow I got all the food from heb deli but nobody has to know
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Jun 13
just realized that if you aren’t from Texas I just misspelled a slur. HEB here everything’s better Deli. 10 beers
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jake rhodes retweeted
4 Feb 2022
AOC: Im President because youve run my social media so well
Me southern accent: not a problem mam
AOC: the idea to put stuff in brackets to show that youre doing it. Its genius
Me: god is a genius mam
AOC steps close: if I was in brackets what would you do to me
Me: no mam
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Jun 12
Quote from man Loved Forever
“What are you gonna do, Love Me Forever?”
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Jun 12
Trump: and everyone from your country is this beautiful. God would you look at em
Nordic Emissary: I think you mean planet. And yes.
Trump: I bet you guys are just fuckin the hell out of each other out there. Looking like that.
Nordic Emissary: Correct.
Posted and then almost instantaneously removed.
What the literal hell is this?
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Jun 12
Dead horse but it’s insane this big mothafucka ever made 185
Jun 12
Alex Pereira is training in the streets of Washington DC before his fight at the White House 😂
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Jun 11
Everything fun they tell you not to do. As a child it’s running in the pool. They blow the whistle. best part about pool is running as fast as you can chasing your friends. Jumping in. When you’re an adult they pull the same trick. dont drink on benzos. No opiates in the hot tub
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jake rhodes retweeted
Jun 11
I hate you for talking like this. "Hes on a white boy level we've never seen" fuck you.
Jun 10
i know he’s not a saint but it’s kinda hard for me to hate zuck i mean look at that shirt man he’s on a white boy level we’ve never seen
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jake rhodes retweeted
Jun 11
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Jun 11
One must imagine Sisyphus on half an oxy and 3 tall boys.
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jake rhodes retweeted
2 Jan 2025
Social media this time of year is nice because you get to see people bury their dopamine levels in real time. A global Documented 10 day bender.
12/23 is like “god I love the holidays. Crack another open brother”
1/2 is like “everyone must be culled. This place is rotten”
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Jun 11
Big Earplug Propaganda. I’ve been playing in bands since I was 13 with no earplugs and now I have a nice calming eeeeeeeeeeeeee in my ears at all hours of the day. It’s an achievement you unlock after your 10th band it’s called The Drummer’s Whistle
Jun 10
every time you wear earplugs at a show an angel gets their wings.
seriously wear earplugs if you value literally anything in your life i do not care if you think they sound bad just get good ones and keep them on your keys for fucks sake
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Jun 11
I love when a new pitching phenom or wide receiver signs a 500 million dollar contract and people find their old tweets on here and it’s like “taTer tots are delicious pieces of food #taterslol” posted at 3 am.
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Jun 11
only following mixed martial arts and combat sports and no other sport means I am constantly disappointed and I never get to experience the joys of true victory, only the cheap, short and sick thrill of seeing a car crash. Also nearly everyone involved is evil.
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Jun 9
Just saw Travis Pastrana is gonna backflip a dirtbike at the White House and honestly all this would be so cool to me as a kind of white trash guy if not for the whole you know uhhh countless dead children thing or idk kiddy diddling or rent being $1000000 or gas being $10000 or
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Jun 9
Going back in time to tell 12 year old me UFC is at the White House and Travis Pastrana is at the White House back flipping the fuck out of the whole shit but we can’t enjoy it bc it’s a dog and pony show for Moloch and Co.
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Jun 9
seeing pic of a guy holding up a copy of the Syriac Infancy Gospel and $500 and commenting “elite ball knowledge”
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