Not affiliated with the dead guy in bronze. I don't speak for my employer, either.

Joined February 2009
Photos and videos
Perfect day to introduce my son to a classic masterpiece of American cinema.
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13 Apr 2024
Boeing needs to start assembling their planes with that adhesive that Trader Joe's uses to seal hummus tubs.
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18 Feb 2024
My kid put on two sweatshirts last night, one over the other, and I kinda laughed about it. So now he's at four sweatshirts and shows no signs of stopping.
24 Nov 2022
Remember when you were like, seven years old, and you told a joke that landed a little better than you expected, everybody laughed a little extra, so you decided "well, I guess that joke is my entire personality for the foreseeable future."
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A decade of video calls has turned me into a stage actor. I emote for the people in the back of the theater. Ain't no chance you'll miss my reaction.
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10 Dec 2023
This morning I have passed three cars which have their hazard flashers on because it's raining. Do not do this.
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22 Oct 2023
If you had told me two months ago that the dozen 11-year-old girls at this birthday party would spend this much time talking about Travis Kelce, I would have said you need to calm down. You're being too loud.

ALT Calm Down Pool Party GIF by Taylor Swift

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18 Oct 2023
Hey @MeckDems , we didn't have an election in '21 because of the delayed census. But when that municipal election happened, I voted in it. I like a voting reminder more than anybody, but please don't impugn my voting record. Kthx.
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It's your friendly neighborhood elections official with an important reminder -- you have to show a photo ID to vote in NC starting this year. If someone you know doesn't have a photo ID, you can get one (for free!) at your county's Board of Elections. ncsbe.gov/voting/voter-id/fa…

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And as always, now is a good time to check and make sure your voter registration is up-to-date! vt.ncsbe.gov/RegLkup/

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Jeb‽ Ware retweeted
11 Jul 2023
Signing up to be a poll worker is a great way to help Americans vote in elections this year. Learn more at: bit.ly/42Izezy #HelpAmericaVote2023 #DemocracyHeroes #NCpol #YourVoteCountsNC
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28 Feb 2023
Feeling inspired by @242_jones dedication to staying hydrated. Showing up for work, day after day, carrying a jug of water the size of a small child.
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15 Jan 2023
Managed to accidentally take this lovely self portrait on a hike today. New profile pic or nah?
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Reading old sci-fi is a fun mix of creative futurism and bizarrely blinkered ideas. Author: our heroes are flying through space, meeting exotic sentient aliens, traveling through black holes and... Me: uh huh, and how do they communicate? Author: Usenet groups, of course.
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When I was a kid playing Mortal Kombat or NHL '95 on Sega Genesis, sometimes I would miss a shot and then shout really loud "the computer cheats!" Unrelated: every time I hear some say "I've been shadow-banned" I wonder if maybe your post sucked and nobody wanted to like it.
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24 Nov 2022
Remember when you were like, seven years old, and you told a joke that landed a little better than you expected, everybody laughed a little extra, so you decided "well, I guess that joke is my entire personality for the foreseeable future."
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23 Nov 2022
If you care about our country's criminal justice system, please read this article. If we cannot treat accused people properly, then we have already failed. We need to fix this. Pay attention to your local sheriff election.
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Precinct 75 is open! If you're voting today, I'll see you soon.
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I helped a lot of people vote today. Now the precinct is closed, our ballot counts added up, and I got some dinner. It's time to enjoy one of Charlotte's finest, and probably fall asleep in like 10 minutes.
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Another election day done. I spent 15 hours helping my neighbors vote, and I am exhausted but fulfilled. My reward is this sneaky-good offering from one of Charlotte's finest, and an early bedtime.
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Seems legit
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20 Sep 2022

ALT Dr Strangelove Dr Strangelove Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb GIF

One of the strongest policy arguments for cryptocurrency is that it's a national security issue. The US missed on semiconductors and 5g which is now largely manufactured offshore. It can't afford to have cryptocurrency go offshore as well. (same for every country btw)