I write music and make jokes wifh spelling errors in them. Married. he/him.
Joined March 2012
- Tweets 6,879
- Following 912
- Followers 194
- Likes 21,197
203 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
20 Jul 2022
Listen to ILY (feat. Krystal Sanders) by Follow The Instructions on #SoundCloud
soundcloud.app.goo.gl/WHSJT
30 Dec 2022
Listen to Ghostly by Follow The Instructions on #SoundCloud
on.soundcloud.com/SSs2g
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24 Nov 2022
Weird. I thought my hemeroids weren't set to pop until after dinner today. #happythanksgiving
19 Nov 2022
The Nintendo Wii is now old enough to drive, but it failed the written portion of the driving exam. You'll get it next time, buddy.
18 Nov 2022
If you feel down on yourselves ever, just remember that John Mayer thinks that your body is a wonderland. I think you're fucking disgusting, but John's a sweet guy.
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18 Nov 2022
Twitter deleted all but two of my drafted tweets. Now I only have one manic screenshot to share before Twitter shits the bed
Kyle Sanders retweeted
16 Nov 2022
I wish I had one of those funny tik tok skateboarding dogs. My dog just sits around playing Mat Hoffman’s Pro BMX all day.
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Kyle Sanders retweeted
13 Nov 2022
Watching Deathnote has created unrealistic expectations for love
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12 Nov 2022
Thanks Eugene! Manifestation works!
12 Nov 2022
I hope tonight when Trump is going to sleep 28 ants crawl into his penis and die.
Kyle Sanders retweeted
Well, Twitter blue was beautiful while it lasted
ALT Fake nestle account saying “we steal your water and sell it back to you lol”
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Kyle Sanders retweeted
11 Nov 2022
I am spending today on @Spotify. Electronic is quite the genre
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Kyle Sanders retweeted
11 Nov 2022
They lit him like a Nintendo switch🤦♂️
11 Nov 2022
Since 1985 we have had the best fans in the world. @realmikefox and I were so thrilled to bring this merchandise to you all. We hope you sincerely enjoy it, and we can’t wait to see it on you!
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Kyle Sanders retweeted
8 Nov 2022
I’m at the Jamba Juice. I’m at the therapist. I’m at the combination Jamba Juice and therapist
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10 Nov 2022
It's really fucked up how you have to pay the bouncer before you vote nowadays.
Kyle Sanders retweeted
9 Nov 2022
TIP: if you bought Twitter Blue be sure to make a self aware joke about your purchase
I’m sure that won’t make it even more embarrassing/cringe
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Kyle Sanders retweeted
4 Nov 2022
For Christmas this year, I’m going to splurge and give everyone in my family blue checks on Twitter.
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Kyle Sanders retweeted
4 Nov 2022
Getting shot isn’t beef, it’s abuse, be fucking fr.
Drake is using his music & platform to imply that a particular instance of abuse didn’t happen and that’s fucked. Also he be flirting with children. 🥴
4 Nov 2022
Meg gotta keep her beef wit Tory n Tory alone.. we not cancelling drake no matter wat . Ur the stallion… he’s the GOAT . Stop playin
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Kyle Sanders retweeted
4 Nov 2022
i’m really getting sick and tired of people throwing shots at megan when all she does is mind her business and has never lied. this clown gets a tummy tuck and now he wanna be in women’s business all the damn time if this pedo don’t get a damn job…
4 Nov 2022
This b*tch lied bout getting shots but she still a stallion. - Drake 😳
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4 Nov 2022
RT @kirkxxs: every single male rapper i’ve seen who’s been dismissive towards megan’s trauma and her getting shot at has some terrible ass…
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