I thought you said you got tickets for Hamilton #OverheardAtATrumpRally

The X-stein Files #ScandalAScaryMovie

Maddow: So in January, Trump buys hundreds of thousands of dollars of stock in Nvidia. Then a week later, his commerce department approves the sale of Nvidia chips to China.  Also in January, Trump buys between 50,000 and $100,000 worth of stock in AMD. One week after he buys it, his commerce department approves AMD doing business in China as well.  The following month, in February, Trump buys millions of dollars worth of stock in Dell. Nine days after he buys millions of dollars worth of stock in Dell, Trump veers off script in a speech in Georgia to tell the crowd literally, quote, go out and buy a Dell computer.  Then in March, Judd Legum at Popular Information reports that Trump repeatedly buys up Thermo Fisher stock, and then he goes and visits Thermo Fisher on a presidential visit and praises the company. That same day, Trump bought hundreds of thousands of dollars of stock in Apple. And then that same day he bought the stock, he did another event where he singled out Apple and Apple CEO Tim cook for praise. Apple a great company. Then after that, Trump buys Micron stock. The very next day, he calls into the Fox News channel and tells them Micron is one of the hottest companies. CNBC reporting Trump makes seven separate purchases of Palantir stock. Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of Palantir stock. Then he gets on truth social and praises Palantir.

Brush Hour #DentalSongsMovies

Jaba The Cat #PutACatInStarWars

Posting this meme every. single. year. #BannedCincoDeMayoActivities

Good one! ☝️

There once was a boy named Luke Who kissed his sister I mean puke Didn’t know his dad Who turned out to be bad Finally found him by just a fluke #TurnStarWarsIntoAPoem

A real pig in a blanket. #AbnormalAppetizers

Seth Meyers reminds us how batshit crazy the last 3 weeks have been: Trump fired AG Pam Bondi. He posted a meme of himself as Jesus then said he thought it was a meme of himself as a doctor. He said the Pope is weak on crime. A MAGA podcaster said Trump is under demonic influence. Pete Hegseth read a fake bible verse from Pulp Fiction. Kash Patel thought he was fired because he got locked out of his computer. A FEMA official claims he once teleported to a Waffle House. Lindsey Graham was seen at Disney World by himself. RFK Jr. cut off a dead raccoon’s penis on the side of the road. Kristi Noem’s husband has giant fake balloon boobs.

RT @caslernoel: “Kushner’s own Miami compound in the private enclave of Indian Creek Island sits just a short ride away from where his wife…

Next week: reading from the Book of Shawshank, Chapter 3, Verse 7: "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

🤣🤣🤣

When Donald Trump said he was a doctor #WhatLaughterIs

CHRISTINA KOCH GREETING HER DOG AFTER RETURNING FROM THE MOON IM GONNA CRYYY 😭😭😭

Hey, @SSPEEDY_16 @livewbeth @elicbramlett @newspoliticchik @GeneralCattis Congrats, You Made The List!!!!!! hashtagtoplist.com/2026/04/1…

Volunteering at the Red Crosd #MummySideHustles

Up Yours #CurseACartoonMovie

I usually think of every poor decision I ever made and am immediately awake #WhileDriftingOffToSleep

I was living my best life #SorryIWasBusy