on maternity leave
Joined February 2011
- Tweets 5,902
- Following 865
- Followers 18,072
- Likes 44,208
280 Photos and videos
I’d rather have a bowl of wedges with sour cream and sweet chilli but I also wouldn’t say no
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Jun 14
poop recall guys. if you’ve got an asbestos poop stop using it immediately
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Jun 6
Absolute ripper of a frog on the frog group today. I’d be levitating.
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Jun 3
Tom Holland’s non alcoholic beer brand. fuck off (my face softens) ah, what the hell. pass me a Bero brother
Tom Holland says that his non-alcoholic beer brand BERO will release a shandy-style drinks range in honor of Zendaya.
“Zendaya, bless her, has never been a drinker, so she’s never drank beer. She didn’t love the beers we have on sale. The idea behind the shandies was to create something authentic at the company that Z could enjoy.”
(Source: forbes.com/sites/johnkell/20…)
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May 30
This is the single hardest piece, both technically and emotionally, that I've ever worked on in my entire career.
Please give it a read.
May 30
In November 2023, police found the decayed corpse of Tracey Turnell in Walthamstow Market.
She had no phone, job, passport, friends or lovers. There wasn’t a single photo of her.
I pieced together who she was and who was responsible for @_TheLondoner
the-londoner.co.uk/tracey-tu…
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May 27
wow this is such a nostalgic twitter moment… someone being mass dogpiled because they made some ice cream
Ice cream is the globally beloved dessert. I make flavors of ice cream.
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This post has me absolutely losing it. Sorry mate no reschs for me - the favourite tipple of an infamous serial murderer. Ah alright just one then
May 24
Pass on Reschs - the preferred tipple of Roger Rogerson - and on this Bartlett bloke..Now to the Barossa or the Hunter for shiraz…
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May 22
it's toney time x.com/AndrewBGreene/status/2…
May 22
Confirmation that former Prime Minister @HonTonyAbbott is set to become the next Federal President of the Liberal Party after nominations closed earlier today
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May 19
Jim chalmers shaking crying and freaking out because the founder of a QR code menu ordering startup said he didn’t like the CGT changes is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever seen
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May 19
you applied it to shares!!! why would you not expect some supersonic whinging from investors? it seems like they are getting fully owned by the puffy vest brigade and have zero idea how to get control of the narrative back
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May 19
Labor is so fucking pathetic, even when they are doing completely sensible reform AND there is literally no credible opposition, they are still blinking stupidly in the light and going UHHH UHHH UMMMM like it never occurred to them they’d have to make a positive case for change
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May 17
I finished reading that belle burden divorce memoir and it is extremely average except for the sick satisfaction you get from hearing about a person from extreme wealth and privilege get completely hoodwinked and betrayed
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May 17
it makes it even sicker and more satisfying that she seems like a genuinely sweet, meek and caring person. it's torture porn adjacent, like the saw movies
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May 16
I'm drinking 500 calories of oil in the morning. for me kids🙂 x.com/achingkneejoint/status…
May 16
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UK unis so cooked they’re coming for the department where the krebs cycle was discovered
Sadly, Chemistry may well be for the chop @sheffielduni too soon. It's not like it's produced any important alumni or anything 🤔
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May 12
I have whatever the opposite of this is. sleepy fat whinger syndrome. down for 9 hours a night, can't remember shit, naturally grumpy. genetically bitchmade x.com/bschne/status/20538291…
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May 11
soooo true. we did it every five seconds for a full decade in Australia and I’m convinced part of that was just because it’s so much fun. albo’s tyrannical control of the ALP has robbed us of this rich cultural practice
May 11
The problem with a US-style political system with fixed executive terms and elections is that you don't get these great bloodsport moments. This is better than streaming an illegal chimp fight
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