Young man, “Hey Steve, I wanted to talk with you. I really want to grow as a husband and father, do a better job leading my home, loving my wife, training up my kids, providing and more, can you help me?”
Older man, “That is great to hear, we are just about to start our next round of men’s ministry, where we will be studying the minor prophets...”
YM, “Oh, that sounds interesting and all, but we are so financially tight right now, my wife seems tired most of the time and we are both stressed out with the having four under six... I really struggle with patience and we have had a number of fights lately…”
OM, “and then, every week, why don’t you wake up early to come to the men’s prayer breakfast, all the older dads are there at 6.30am to chat and then we pray for a few minutes before we head to work…”
YM, “that would be great, but we have so many bills from the new baby I have to take overtime right now, and I have to get in to work early, groceries and other bills since the twins started eating solid food… do you all take about how to get kids to sit still so you can do family worship, I have heard the pastor mention it a few times but none of the guys I have talked had families that did it growing up and none of us know how to make it work without the kids
going crazy…”
OM, “and you probably would really enjoy the men’s quarterly retreat. It only costs $300 or so dollars, plus food and a few other small costs, so shouldn’t be more than $500 total, and you would only miss a couple days of work! There will be pickle-ball and corn-hole and this quarter is all about penal substitutionary atonement…”
YM, “yes sir, getting away would be awesome, but we already have trouble finding someone to watch the kids for even just a few hours so we can go on a walk or take a picnic to a local park and get to spend some time together… I don’t see how I could miss work and leave my wife for four days right now...
If I could make more money, I could, which is why I wanted to ask you about how to better manage our money and how I could find a way to make a bit more, I also am really confused by what insurances we actually need and which we can actually afford right now…oh, and isn’t the retreat far? Our only car is making some funny noises so unless someone could give me a ride I couldn’t get there and I don’t feel great being four hours away with Sarah stuck with car…”
OM, “oh, well, if you can’t make it, you should consider just reading a few more books that the pastors have recommended. You can probably find used copies…”
YM, “yeah, I’m just not sure when I would read them… I am getting home from work around 5.30, and Sarah needs help with the kids right when I get through the door... we spend all night getting them fed, reading books, getting them cleaned up and ready for bed… we rarely get to bed before 10.30 and I have to be up at 5 for work the next morning, the schedule is really starting to wear on our marriage…”
OM, “you honestly just sound like you have a lot of excuses, son. You really need to man up.. When I was first married, things were just as challenging, but we still…”
YM, “weren’t you just sharing with Larry how you graduated college almost debt free and bought your first house for only twice what you made a year of of college? And didn’t you all only have two kids and that was seven or eight years into marriage…”
OM, “you younger guys just need to stop complaining, work harder, and trust the Lord more. We all know what that stage of marriage and kids was like…”
YM, “yeah, which is why I was asking for help (but I guess I may have came to the wrong place…)”