Everyday Normal Guy
Joined February 2014
- Tweets 2,111
- Following 349
- Followers 324
- Likes 8,062
242 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
24 Aug 2024
Being the cousin’s boyfriend at a wedding where no one knows you is like being the star player for a 16 seed in the NCAA tourney. You gotta put up numbers and make a name for yourself.
Drinks ordered at bar: 23
Great to meet ya’s: 18
Song requests: 8
Toasts initiated: 2
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Apr 25
Watching a grown adult yell at a vending machine that won’t dispense their water bottle, only to keep putting more money in the machine. I believe we are at $9.75 spent.
Truly some specimens at the Columbus airport.
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Mar 27
Who’d have thought, the only way to get the government to do something is to threaten taking away their spring break.
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Mar 10
I’m not asking for much. Just another Star Wars movie with battle droids in it.
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2 Nov 2025
Whole internet waiting for this post to go live
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7 May 2025
Happy national signing week on LinkedIn to those who celebrate
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22 Apr 2025
Can we have a candid conversation about the current state of airport charging stations in 2025?
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18 Apr 2025
Uber driver singing “Grenade” by Bruno Mars. Let’s have ourselves a weekend.
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20 Mar 2025
McNeese State is about to send my bracket to the shadow realm
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20 Mar 2025
Guys will call themselves a “hybrid athlete”. Nah man you’re just a 38 year old dude.
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21 Jan 2025
This Ohio State championship means more to all those who casually watched a game or two this fall, those who have never stepped foot on OSU campus, and those who called for Ryan Day’s job than it ever could to you
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Max hoffman retweeted
5 Jan 2025
I don’t know how the committee can watch that game and still put the Steelers in the playoffs instead of Cincinnati
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1 Jan 2025
Woman at the bar: “it’s touch tunes, this is useless money”
Me: “it’s better to live for something than die for nothing”
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21 Dec 2024
Absolutely locked for the College of Biblical Studies v University of Texas Rio Grande Valley men’s hoops game this afternoon
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4 Dec 2024
Drake being on my Spotify wrapped top 5 artists every year feels like a conspiracy perpetrated by the music industry
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Max hoffman retweeted
15 Nov 2024
Donald Trump announces Nute Gunray will serve as Secretary of Commerce
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31 Oct 2024
Me on any day that’s not Halloween: “Hey that guy over there is dressed like Where’s Waldo.
Me on Halloween: “Hey that guy over there is dressed like Where’s Waldo.”
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