I tried to not be a dork once, that didn’t work out too well. out of circulation. Adopt a shelter pet!!
Joined April 2016
- Tweets 47,465
- Following 4,315
- Followers 5,580
- Likes 238,094
8,570 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
11 Jun 2016
Being a man is by birth and time, being a gentleman is a choice.
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For someone who likes to think he’s intelligent I sure have done a lot of dumb stuff.
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If sarcasm is truly a learned behavior then I should have a PHD by now
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Michael retweeted
18h
My doctor says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body helps prevent cellulite.
Apparently, you can’t do it in Starbucks.
And now the cops are here…
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Michael retweeted
Often, the apologies we deserve the most never come.
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Michael retweeted
17h
Make room for the pleasure of feeling relaxed. The importance of fun. And the Joy of being alive. Always.
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Michael retweeted
25 Oct 2024
making each other laugh is the best foreplay
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Michael retweeted
Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There's a nap for that.
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Michael retweeted
May 26
Her: Hey handsome!
Me: I’m not interested but you have impeccable taste.
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Michael retweeted
May 27
There are people who move in silence. They’ve sat through the betrayals and empty promises. They’ve experienced meaningless hugs and useless agendas. Thats why their circle is so small.
Yet, they still get it done and are often the kindest of all.
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Michael retweeted
May 28
If you really relate to me you might want to seek therapy
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Michael retweeted
May 29
It’s the quiet ones that will light your ass up.
In either a good or a bad way.
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