I was pregnant first week of March 2020 prior to lockdowns when the first Covid wave hit, and something inside me broke.
One day I was me. The next, my brain was on fire.
Encephalitis, I now know, but back then no doctor would touch it. They patted my belly and blamed “pregnancy hormones.”“Totally normal,” doctors said. I was left to drown.
Suddenly I couldn’t turn off. Fight or flight became my only setting.
Panic, paranoia, raw anger, and bone deep fear flooded every second.
I felt no hunger, fatigue or pain. Just an endless electric scream in my nervous system.
My blood pressure skyrocketed for the first time in my life. Medical system called it “preeclampsia” and after birth never checked my blood pressure again.
My hair fell out in clumps. Nightmares clawed through whatever scraps of sleep I managed.
I was irritable, on edge, impossible to be around.
Inside our house it was pure chaos. I couldn’t control the emotions ripping out of me no matter how hard I tried. My marriage hung by a thread. We nearly ended it all right there in the middle of that invisible storm that no one believes ever occurred.
I had a dear friend offer me supplements for “post partum depression” and although she meant well, the offer stung because no one truly understood what Covid was doing to me.
And this is the part that still chills me.
Because this is exactly how Long Covid gets erased.
Doctors see a woman pregnant or with young children or in their 30’s or older and reach for “hormones” or “perimenopause.”
Patients live through Covid hell and get told it’s just life.
Covid takes a hold of you, steals pieces of your mind and body, and society files it under “woman problems.”
I lived the proof.I am the proof.
See how easy it is to miss the real monster hiding in plain sight?