It’s dark outside right now. I don’t mean that the sun has set. I mean a lot of people in a lot of places have had their entire world turned upside down in an instant.
Some folks are still in shock.
The river that has never come close to your home came up and took your home away. A wall of water, mud, and trees came down the side of the mountain and in the next instant everything was gone.
Everything.
Your kids’ baby books, their birth certificates, the pictures from that vacation when you went to the beach with everyone, your wedding dress, your late grandmother’s brownie recipe. Those hand-print turkeys the kids made in Kindergarten.
That trophy you keep in a box in the top of the closet from that year you went to state and won. They’re all gone now.
Not gone, so much, but now it’s all “debris,” strewn along the riverbank, waiting for someone to come along and put it in a trash bag and haul it off to a landfill.
The storefront you worked so hard to open, the shop you set up with loving hands that was finally taking off again after COVID nearly closed it down.
Now it’s just … trash. There’s nothing left to save. If an insurance adjuster ever makes it out here, he’ll write you a check for the value of your property and leave. This is a job for men with bulldozers and dump trucks, not drywall contractors.
There’s no saving this.
A spouse you talked to just before the rain started. They told you to come home as quickly as you could, but you couldn’t get there before the river took the road.
A grandparent who was sure it would all be fine, but told you that they loved you and they’d see you at church on Sunday. A son who was worried about friends who went out to look for them, who promised he’d be careful.
They’re gone now. Taken in an instant.
That’s how a lot of people feel right now. Their lives are just 'debris.' There’s a giant gaping hole in the middle of their heart where someone should be right now, but they’re gone. Just gone.
How can they be gone? The voicemail they left is just a week old. There are still texts on your phone.
How can it be gone? How can all of this be gone? How?
I can’t answer that. I wish like everything that I could. That I or anyone could help it all make sense. But it doesn’t. And it won’t. Because that’s the way this flawed, imperfect world is. Sometimes, most of the time, we don’t get answers.
What I can tell you is this: you’re not alone. There are tens if not hundreds of thousands of people who are reaching out to help you as best they can.
You don’t know them, and you probably never will. But they’re bringing food and clothes. They’re working to dig out the road so you can start to rebuild what you lost.
More than anything else, they’re praying. Because a lot of them know exactly what sort of hell you’re going through right now. The hole in their heart may not be the same shape as yours, but they know the awful, gaping absence all too well. It wasn’t a flood for them.
Maybe it was a fire. Maybe it was cancer.
They’ve been there, in the bottom of the pit as the shock starts to wear off and the awful reality bleeds into consciousness. They’ve felt the awful drop in the pit of their stomach when they wake up and realize that it wasn’t a nightmare.
And they’re going to walk with you. We all are. Because one day we’ll be there too, if we haven’t already. They’re working for you. They’re praying for you.
There are no words that I or anyone else can write that will ease the awful, sick feeling in the pit of your heart right now. But I can tell you that there is hope. Things improve, and this pain you’re carrying right now will not last forever.
Houses can be rebuilt. Businesses can rise from the figurative ashes. And grief, while it never goes away, becomes a little less oppressive as the days turn into years.
You might not be able to see it right now, and that’s fine. Hope is a far shore sometimes, and the journey there can seem like chasing the horizon.
But I promise you, it will get better. You’re not alone.
And you never will be.