✨ Top Senior Chief Legal Counsel - Shadow Cabal News ✨ goddamn twitter kingpin ✨ certifiable problem ✨ The Collapse™ ✨ Bourbon and Bullshit ✨ Nestmaxxing ✨
Joined May 2021
- Tweets 93,813
- Following 1,193
- Followers 33,357
- Likes 329,690
12,539 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
16 May 2024
Don’t Care ✨ Didn’t Ask ✨ Opinion Discarded ✨ Cope ✨ Seethe ✨ Touch Grass ✨ Die Mad ✨
ALT Nice Cage smoking cigar at start of Lord of War movie
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I now have two foxes 🦊
ALT Two foxes in a yard next to a corn field
May 14
Determined to make this fox my friend 🥰
ALT Red fox in field of rye with spring forest in the background
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Pinterest will literally be like we removed this pin from your board “Motivation” because it’s related to self harm or adult content
And it’s almost always a woman with a bangin body and a motivational quote that inevitably gets reinstated…
ALT Woman stretching with quote that says “to do more before 8am than most people do in a day”
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Jun 13
My favorite pastime is when people ovaryreact
Jun 13
You act like you saw her labia in 4k. Take a chill pill dawg 💊
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Jun 13
@NotABotBlonde thanks for replying so I came back to the thread and found out I was blocked lololol
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Jun 13
ok goodnight this week has been awful 🫠
ALT White and light pink peonies
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Jun 12
I am officially hanging the towel up on online clothes shopping.
It’s all overpriced trash.
Darts and waists are misplaced.
You can only ever return things for “store credit”
At this point I may as well just sew my own clothes because what the actual fuck is going on
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Jun 12
I paid $28.80 for a dress (on sale), I didn’t expect much because polyester bullshit right? $10 shipping to get it to me. Ok fine I CAN LIVE WITH A $39 DRESS
Wrong. So incredibly wrong.
The center of the dress is almost 2 inches off center.
It shouldn’t have even left quality control but SOMEHOW this abomination is at my door step.
And it will cost me $10 to return it (because they provide the label and deduct it from your refund 🙄)
I just paid TWENTY DOLLARS to try on a dress that wouldn’t have made it to the sales floor.
Unbelievable.
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Jun 11
Hey y’all how ya doin how’s ya mama’n’em?!
My peonies survived the storm and I made a new friend (again)
ALT Bee in pink peony flower
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Jun 11
If you are a multi generational American that thinks America is irredeemable, you are now eligible to renounce your citizenship and repatriate to a country of your family’s lineage through the Complimentary Irrevocable Abdication Offer (CIAO).
You must liquidate all American assets — homes, land, vehicles, investments, the Peloton collecting dust since COVID — all. of. it. EXCLUSIVELY to Americans.
You will be afforded 72 hours to pack a carry on and one checked bag.
There will be a five generation hold on your lineage as a courtesy to Heritage Americans. Should the sixth generation wish to immigrate they must demonstrate financial self-sufficiency, ability to successfully order (in fluent English) and consume an entire bacon double cheeseburger while completing a live firearms proficiency examination as they independently back a boat trailer into a lake in front of a federal agent, on the first try.
We trust you will find this offer preferable to the freight train of consequence currently barreling your way as you screech about enlightened social democracies from your mother’s American basement.
✨✨ This offer is non-negotiable, non-transferable, irrevocable in perpetuity, and binding upon your heirs and assigns. Additional Terms and Conditions may apply. ✨✨
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Jun 10
Do we think they took a middle ground knowing a sentence of 99 years would burn their city to the ground or?
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Is a 3.5 inch penis used in a defensive manner rape?
Karmelo Anthony found guilty of murder over a track meet dispute in Collin County, Texas.
I am fully confident that he will beat this on appeal.
I am not convinced that a 3.5 inch pocket knife used in a defensive manner is murder.
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goodnight 😴 🥰
ALT Deep blue sky with fluffy white clouds that have a tinge of pink to them behind a grass driveway with two oak trees to the left and a field to the right
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I’m pretty sure this is my cat now. He hasn’t left as best I can tell.
Enjoy this photo of him listening to thunder roll through 🥰
ALT Black cat looking up while sitting in tall grass
Still not convinced he will stick around, or that it’ll work out for him to. He’s incredibly sweet and would love to come inside but Ziva has been skeptical from afar.
In any case, he remains safe and fed 🥰
ALT Black cat sitting next to a food dish with his tongue slightly sticking out
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I don’t hate polyester clothing.
I hate that these lunatics want to charge hundreds of dollars for poorly sewn plastic crap.
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The best feeling in the world is getting a bunch of sunshine and then putting on sweats when it cools down for the night 🥰
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I feel like if you have to write “strange, wonderful little books with magic and kissing”, you are probably not getting strange, wonderful, magic and kissing from your (probably gay) husband.
But it’s just a hunch.
Ladies, if you are (unfortunately) attracted to men, heed my advice: marry the leftist, feminist, mega-nerd. Sure, there will be Lego Millennium Falcons and probably too many guitars, and he WILL geek out over the twenty-fifth anniversary re-release of the extended edition of The Lord of the Rings in theaters, but your career will flourish, your nervous system will regulate, and you'll be able to write all the strange, wonderful little books with magic and kissing you want..
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