Every year my conversation starter app
@partyqsapp spikes on New Year's Eve.
In honor of NYE, here are 5 tips on how to start genuine conversations 🎉
1. Start small.
Easier-to-answer questions may popcorn better around the room. Once someone shares once, they tend to feel more comfortable sharing again. You want people to feel this release from self-reservation.
2. Go first.
Be unafraid to be vulnerable or poke fun at yourself. This will take the pressure off the rest of group, help lower guards, and lessen the fear of looking obtuse. Make sure to avoid the perception of asking a question purely so that you can answer it. This has the opposite effect. The goal of going first is to break the ice and give people time—not to give yourself a personal audience.
3. Ask questions of specific people.
If you know someone in the group has a story or opinion on a particular topic, then they will probably voluntarily pipe up first to get the conversation rolling. If they don’t, feel free to prompt them by name—they’ll probably appreciate the cue.
4. Follow up your initial question with further active listening questions.
For example, if the question asks about a favorite song, and someone answers with theirs, follow it with asking when they first realized it was their favorite, and it will likely unlock another layer of detail or story about the person. Subsequent questions demonstrate curiosity and eagerness to learn, which will encourage more openness and interest in the conversation. Just be mindful not to barrage a person with too many follow up questions.
5. A controversial one, but important nonetheless: Eliminate sarcasm towards other people.
While sarcasm is commonly humorous and a sign of wit, remember there is always truth in all humor and what makes sarcasm effective is often the accurate observation of an embarrassing truth, rendering the targeted person feeling ashamed—it can shut them down. Self-directed sarcasm is encouraged, as it shows self-awareness and self-confidence at no expense to others.
Do you agree? What tips would you add? What questions are you asking this year?
Happy New Year's and enjoy!