You ever notice how politicians have this magical ability to redefine words? Take “tariff,” for example. Used to be, a tariff was a tax on imports. Simple, right? But then along comes Trump, and suddenly, tariffs are the secret sauce to “winning.” He says, “Tariffs don’t cause inflation. Tariffs cause success.” Really? That’s like saying, “Donuts don’t cause weight gain. Donuts cause happiness.” Sure, until you can’t fit into your pants.
And what’s with this idea of “temporary short-term disruption”? That’s politician speak for, “Brace yourselves, it’s gonna hurt, but don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.” It’s like when your internet provider says, “We’re experiencing temporary outages.” Next thing you know, you’re reading a book by candlelight, pretending it’s the 1800s.
But my favorite is when he says, “People understand that.” Do we? Do we really? Because last time I checked, most folks are just trying to figure out why their groceries cost more and their paychecks don’t. So, here’s a tip: if someone tells you tariffs are the key to success, check your wallet. If it’s lighter, congratulations, you’ve been successfully tariffed.