We're actually doing a great job of curing cancer - many cancers that were terminal now have indefinite survival times, w/ more solved every year *Some* cancers are cured Cancer is too broad a term tho with current drug approaches. Drugs work on very specific cancers

Doubt I'd ever get a headline eulogizing me. But if my political opinions are the main thing my family remembers about me, I'd be very disappointed in myself. Also, ALF was a great show and she was good in it.

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Meep meep ass locale

Prosecutor: Ok, please explain the name of this group DM and its icon Me: I’d rather just confess to whatever I’m being charged with

Make Westeros Great Again!

I accidentally bought ten shares of SSPX today.

Elon is now worth a trillion dollars which means Dave Ramsey may actually be okay with him buying a new car at the sticker price.

*Watching Meru with my wife* Wife: He married his climbing partner’s wife?!? Me: Honey, if anything ever happens to me, I don’t want you to marry ANY of my friends. Wife: Pfft! Don’t worry.

If you’re on this app telling people what’s plainly obvious is not the case, you’re not a serious person and should be blocked by every thinking person. Unless, of course, it’s funny.

Imagine getting your salad tossed here.

How do you edit Wikipedia? Tim McGraw and I have not "squashed our beef."

The world was a better place when we lived by first principles, e.g., sticks and stones.

I teach auto shop at a small high school. We work on students cars, teachers cars, students parents cars and some community people cars. We only charge for parts and not labor, so we saved some people a lot of money last school year. This last school year we did 126 oil changes, 68 brake jobs, 85 alignments, 4 steering racks, 22 tune ups, 32 struts, 20 shock absorbers, 4 transfer cases, mounted and balanced 82 new tires, 4 timing chains, 15 valve cover gaskets, 14 thermostats, 4 radiators, 12 in tank fuel pumps, 8 EVAP canisters, 6 exhaust manifolds, 4 mufflers, 15 AC repairs including evacuate and recharge, 8 alternators, 22 batteries, 9 starters and so much more! Proud of those students I am!

I remember a lot of people saying it was a mistake for him to retire and go into broadcasting. Dude has made bank since hanging up the cleats.

Battlefield 1942

HALDEMAN:– all I'm saying, sir, is that the outcomes are arranged. In advance. It's worked out beforehand who goes over. PRESIDENT NIXON: Who goes over WHAT, Bob? HALDEMAN: Over. Wins. It's a term. The point is both wrestlers know the finish before the bell. [EIGHT SECONDS OF SILENCE] NIXON: Now hold on. Hold on, Bob. You're telling me Bruno Sammartino...you're telling me that's fixed. HALDEMAN: I'm telling you the result is determined, sir. NIXON: The man's been champion seven years. Seven years, Bob. You don't, you don't do that by...nobody arranges seven years. KISSINGER: Mr President, with respect, that is rather the point. A genuine athletic contest would not produce so stable an outcome. The very consistency is the, ah, the tell. NIXON: The tell. Listen to him. Henry, you've never been to a match in your life. KISSINGER: I have not had that misfortune, no. NIXON: Then how the [EXPLETIVE] do you know? KISSINGER: Because, Mr President, the dramaturgy is transparent to anyone who has studied the...it is theatre. It is morality theatre. The hero, the villain, the foreign menace who is vanquished. It is Wagner with folding chairs. [TWELVE SECONDS OF SILENCE] NIXON: The bodyslams are real. Don't tell me the bodyslams aren't real. I've seen a man land. You can't fake a man landing.

Nutritionist: “Your diet is poor.” Dentist: “Your brushing is bad.” Friends: “Your life is a mess.” Liquor store guy: “Excellent choice.”

HE DID NOTHING WRONG

Wise, wise words