Los Angeles, CA. Stand Up Comic. Writer for @realpunknews @HardDriveMag & The Inner Loop. @samlibutti : ig
Joined October 2017
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63 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
20 Mar 2020
The year is 2026, coronavirus wiped out most of the country. I haven’t eaten in days. Finally I see a small structure in the distance. I use what strength I have left to push open the door. I slowly approach the man behind the counter and exchange a copy of Madden 13 for 62 cents
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Jun 8
I’ll take a big shit and then judge dudes who look like they weigh what I weighed before I took the shit #fatonfatcrime
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May 11
Going to hardcore shows and tapping everyone in the pit on the shoulder and asking them if they can move the pit over one foot so I can see better
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Apr 11
Just woke up from a dream where Shaquille O’Neal was driving me to the smokeshop to buy Kratom
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1 Dec 2025
Me: God people are so Tribalistic, what a silly instinct
Also me: I hope a plane carrying the Dallas Cowboys crashes directly into a field containing the entire Philadelphia Eagles organization
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21 Nov 2025
November should be reserved for one last chance to enjoy stuff like pumpkin patches without the threat of a theatre kid in a mask yelling at you
Haunted houses should be converted to cozy fall houses where each room features progressively larger and more alarming cornucopias
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16 Oct 2025
There’s this weird period in like the 80s and 90s where in a movie if a person is holding a cell phone, it means they are a complete piece of shit who hates their kids.
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20 Sep 2025
Just saw #HIM & if they want to realistically show how someone like Patrick Mahomes gets his power the twist at the end should be that it’s a cult of biased referees
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11 Sep 2025
I’m trying to figure out how I can make a meme of the rizzler posted up with the sniper just waddling away at an immense pace outrunning the fbi
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21 Aug 2025
I’d like to welcome you all to the 10th annual meeting of the Pedophile Defeaters Squad, as you know we have just elected our new leader
Pedophile “has sex with children” Rapeington
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6 Aug 2025
Tim Robinson is the angel on your shoulder telling you the jack off, Connor O’Malley is the devil on your other shoulder telling you to jack on in an entirely different more devious way
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19 Jul 2025
Why tf does that picture of the #Coldplay cheaters look like a vision appearing to the wicked witch in her orb (professional artist rendering below for comparison)
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14 Jun 2025
He looks like a Tim Robinson character who is dying but can't afford to go to the doctor because he keeps spending his money on newer more elaborate fedoras
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12 May 2025
Give a man a femboy and he’ll cum for a day, teach a man to email and he can surf the cyber super highway for strange boy cock and balls for an eternity -Cumfucius
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10 Feb 2025
Pick 6 in the Super Bowl from a white cornerback has gotta sting extra hard. Refs about to call illegal use of whiteness and bring it back #SuperBowl
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10 Feb 2025
Taylor is going to leave the game in Cooper Dejean’s Jeep Wrangler
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21 Jan 2025
youtube.com/watch?v=1l-qCw3S…
amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/07/26/p…
washingtonpost.com/nation/20…
nbcnews.com/news/world/sebas…
Funny how this keeps happening by *accident*
How many “coincidences” can happen before we acknowledge maybe it’s not a coincidence?
20 Jan 2025
That is 1000% a Nazi salute being given behind the presidential podium on Inauguration Day (also MLK day) by the richest person on the planet. That moment will live in infamy.
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9 Jan 2025
I wonder if the LA wildfires started from Lavar Ball rubbing his hands together thinking off all the money they’ll make off of LiAngelo’s song #Tweaker
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Sam LiButti retweeted
14 Sep 2024
ADHD Man Forgets To Take Highly Addictive Medicine For 4th Straight Day hard-drive.net/hd/adhd-man-f…
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