These ones!

My money is on Patty Hajdu. A woman is more likely to use the word "yelling" when describing another person's character. I'm not being sexist either... it's just patterning. Kind of like how most serial murderers are men, or how women are more likely to use poison to end someone than a man.

Ottawa's latest affordability strategy depends entirely on Canadians not recognizing their own GST cheque. I was putting groceries away when this started annoying me again. Not because of the money. Before somebody races into the comments to explain that every dollar helps, yes, I know. Every dollar does help. Most Canadians know that. There are people right now stretching hamburger into three meals, watering down soup, skipping things they need, putting groceries back on shelves and hoping nobody notices. I've been there, and that's almost beside the point. What got under my skin was the name. And the more I thought about it, the more irritated I got. Then, I got distracted by unloading groceries. But then out of nowhere I came back to it, and I got annoyed all over again Which is probably how this article happened. I keep seeing politicians, pundits, sycophants, activists and the usual collection of Liberal cheerleaders and lapdog acolytes all celebrating the new Canada Groceries and Essentials Benefit as though Mark Carney descended from the clouds carrying tablets of stone and a coupon for ground beef. And every time I see it, I have the same question. What new benefit!?  No, seriously. I mean it...  ...What new benefit? The CRA literally tells us it's the former GST/HST Credit. FORMERLY. Not "inspired by."  Not "replacing."  Not "similar to." Not "based on a true story." Formerly. The GST credit. The same GST credit Canadians have been receiving for DECADES! And that's where the little hamster wheel starts spinning. Because if we're all agreeing it's the former GST credit, why are we spending so much energy pretending it isn't? Mine went up six whole dollars. Six. Not six dollars a day. Not six dollars a week. Six dollars per payment. Four payments a year. That's twenty four dollars annually. Or, if you prefer smaller numbers to work with, two dollars a month. Roughly six and a half cents  a day. And I swear, the more I look at this thing, the more that six dollars follows me around like some kind of federal affordability mascot. Food prices through the roof?  Don't you sweat it. Six dollars. Housing costs insane?  Relax. Six dollars. Mortgage delinquencies climbing? That's right, Bob. Another six dollars. Consumer insolvencies rising? Not one. Not two. Not three. Six whole dollars. And wait... there's more. Unable to absorb a two-hundred-dollar emergency without your finances catching fire? No worries. Six dollars. Prescription co-pays looking like a ransom demand? It's all good! Six dollars. Hydro bill causing heart palpitations? Don't you fret! Six dollars. Disposable income disappering while the receipt gets heavier? It's fine. Six dollars. Economy slowing down? Yup. You guessed it. Six dollars. National affordability crisis? Stand aside, citizens. The six dollars have arrived! 👏🏼 Six dollars. And if you call within the next fifteen minutes, we'll throw in another helping of six dollars in July to tackle stagnant wages, declining productivity, rising debt levels, supply shortages, and a growing national unity crisis absolutely free! That's right!! Six dollars is no longer merely a benefit!! It's a catalyzing strategy. It's a Canada Strong vision, don't you know! And folks, you're going to want to sit down for this one... It's apparently the cornerstone of federal economic policy! Insert sigh here 👉🏻... And before somebody misunderstands me, the six dollars are not actually the thing that bothers me. The six dollars are almost funny in a pathetic way. The thing that bothers me is everything wrapped around them:  The measured speeches. The round the clock marketing. The non-stop branding. The desired fanfare. The running away from journalists asking about our recession. The endless attempts to convince Canadians they are witnessing something new! Because here's where I completely lose the plot so to speak, so let me know if you arrive at the same question.  If this is fundamentally the same program, why not just say: "We increased the GST credit." There. Done. Five words. Everybody understands it. Instead, the GST credit appears to have entered witness protection. One day it was the GST credit. The next day it emerges as the Canada Groceries and Essentials Benefit, carrying six extra dollars and apparently accompanied by a federal marketing team armed with focus group feedback. Now maybe that's all this is. Maybe it's branding. We all know governments love branding! Give Ottawa enough consultants and they'll spend six months renaming a paper clip and another six months congratulating themselves for the innovation. But then I remember something else.  The timing. The timing is just so... perfect. And this is where I start sounding like the person muttering to themselves in the grocery store aisle. Because the timing keeps bothering me: ▪︎ July is when benefit calculations change. ▪︎ July is when the new tax year information starts flowing through the system. ▪︎ July is when Canadians see adjustments based on the most recent tax returns. So this isn't some random month pulled out of a hat. The rename. The new branding. The new messaging. The recalculations. All of it is happening right around the same period. Now maybe that's perfectly innocent. Maybe. But then I remember Carney reclassified, or is it reallocated some budget spending as "investments" so the books don't reveal how bad things really are. And every time I try to let it go, I remember they even went back and changed historical references. If you don’t believe me, log into your own CRA account right now, and look under the benefits tab. And be sure to check your past several years worth of info. GST/HST has been changed to CGEB. That's the part that really sticks in my head. The old name wasn't simply retired. The old name appears to be getting quietly erased wherever possible. And then I'm right back where I started. Why? ▪︎ Why does a decades-old tax credit suddenly need witness protection? ▪︎ Why does six dollars require a communications strategy? ▪︎ Why does six dollars need a rebrand? ▪︎ Why does six dollars need a national rollout? The questions just keep stacking up. And before anybody accuses me of inventing conspiracies, that's not what I'm doing. I'm describing a feeling. A growing irritation. The same irritation a lot of Canadians feel when they're told everything is getting better while their own eyes keep reporting different information. Food bank usage keeps rising, people are carrying more debt and families are struggling. Yet we're constantly told affordability is improving. Then along comes six dollars wearing a new plastic name tag and suddenly we're expected to enthusiastically applaud. That's the part that doesn't sit right. And maybe that's why I keep coming back to this. Because it isn't really about the six dollars. Not anymore. The six dollars stopped being the story a long time ago. The six dollars became a symbol.  Its a symbol of the gap between what people are experiencing and what they're being told. Its a glaring symbol of governments believing presentation can substitute for results. A concerning symbol of the growing habit of changing labels and hoping nobody notices the contents stayed largely the same. Maybe there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. If there is, I'd genuinely like to hear it. Because from where I'm sitting, it feels less like a government solving a problem and more like a government trying to manage how people perceive the problem one overseas photo-op at a time. At an unquestionable distance. And those are two very different things. Reality has a nasty habit of ignoring press releases. Which brings us right back to the six dollars. There it is again. The little six-dollar ghost wandering through this entire story. Showing up in announcements. Showing up in headlines. Showing up in social media posts. Showing up everywhere except anywhere meaningful enough to justify the celebration surrounding it. The six dollars aren't what bother me. It's the assumption behind them. The assumption that Canadians wouldn't remember. That Canadians wouldn't bother to compare, would never dare to presume to  ask questions. That no Canadian wouldn't see through the intended gaslighting to notice that the GST credit suddenly entered witness protection and came back with a new identity. The cheque isn't the story. The story is that somebody looked at six dollars, a new name, a marketing campaign and a country struggling with affordability and thought: "Yep. That'll do it." That's the part I can't get past. open.substack.com/pub/melani…