filtered snapshots of a pretend life. to gain real perspective of my life please stalk me in person. all views my own and do not represent my employer 🏳️🌈
Joined October 2016
- Tweets 14,857
- Following 4,340
- Followers 33,326
- Likes 49,366
3,388 Photos and videos
Jun 13
Eating my body weight in chips after the longest swim ever.
13
15
880
16,634
May 13
Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Hope you never touch the NHS again. 👋
May 13
🚨 BREAKING: Allies of Wes Streeting say he is preparing to resign and trigger a leadership contest tomorrow
[@thetimes]
4
44
6,251
Apr 26
Big day for the photographer ant community.
1
15
3,973
Apr 21
He read me to filth
Some of the gays would love this
2
18
6,084
Apr 9
Spare a thought for fish who have to do this shit every damn day.
13
496
6,590
nick retweeted
Apr 6
Telling everyone how impressive my first gay bareback orgy was
1,716
28,477
275,895
47,530,814
Apr 4
Is everyone dropping followers recently? Hope it's the real people and not all my Russian bot fans xx
5
50
3,339
nick retweeted
Apr 3
If those astronauts go around the moon and can find no trace of Lisa Stansfield’s baby then I really think that’s it, we’ve exhausted all lines of enquiry
455
2,227
15,260
572,026
Apr 3
It's my birthday tomorrow, so of course I'm working nights tonight - because after 40 years I still can't plan like an adult.
15
104
4,658
Apr 2
Sat in David Lloyd cafe listening to chats. Best of luck to the young lad and his girlfriend who is off to his gran's for Easter dinner. The gran, who is in her 70s i'd guess, is talking to her friend about you both being vegetarian so she's got you a chicken instead of lamb xoxo
1
43
2,863
Mar 28
Is this not Inside Out?
13
4,154
Mar 26
If you didn't miss me then frankly this hairy foot is not for you.
8
233
7,686