Since I announced my retirement I want to get off a story from my chest which made me give up on getting back to LEC:
In 2021 after a horrendeus year in NA LCS I found myself back to ERL , from being the hot shit turned into a cold potato. 1 year abroad and felt like you have no connections or teams to get back on for LEC, a hard shock.
Trust me, it really sucked balls going from a 170k$ contract down to 1k/month.
Did I felt like I can still make LEC?
Yes easily , but there just was no offers and a lot of other pros know how mentally challenging it is to get your shit together and try to make it back into LEC. I will not be suprised if that chance is around 10-15% of a re-joining.
Lucky enough I ended up in gamerlegion and won the springsplit 2022.
Back at that time I had a lot of respect for this coach Mephisto and asked him about advise and what I can do to make it back. He seemed kind and telling me that he actually wanted to work with me because he heard good things ect ect but he thought that its impossible because of upper management not having me as their prefered option.
I reached out to vitality directly to get an LEC tryout because they were looking for a coachingposition to fill and they all were genuinely kind enough to give me a second chance after fucking up with the academy team back in 2018 (VIT is awesome trust me).
I got invited into 3 round processes which was consisting of meeting the psychologist, the upper management and the coaches.
The first 2 interviews went very well, fully prepared, everybody had webcams on, asked questions and it was a genuine back and forth conversation.
However, when I got into round 3 I got the interview with mephisto , turned into a full disaster.
There was no webcams, just awkward silence, no interest and in the background there was a lot of noise, I barely could understand if he said something and it felt like the most unwanted interview ever.
In order to break the ice I just showed what I would usually show but still didnt get any replies.
The assistant coach at the same time was also just playing another game and I knew right away I was not gonna make it.
I felt confused, upset and was looking for anwsers. After the coachingposition eventually got filled by a different coach I reached out to upper management and here comes the shocker:
The upper management said they were really keen on giving me the chance but they also told me that apparently mephisto, the guy who told me all the time that he wants to work with me was the mainreason why I didn‘t pass and he was also actively trashtalking me infront of others.
Not gonna lie, this felt like one of the biggest betrayals I‘ve witnessed and also like a huge punishment for being honest and exposing your weakness.
From 2021 winter 15 hours league only , half a year to have it end up like this.
This pain was unbearable , I was depressed for a long time because of it but I also learned that it apparently just is like that in this type of industries.
I tried 3 years to make it back to LEC, failed and retired. I know that its not only about skill but actually if people socially accept you. I know this happened to other ex-LEC players too but they decided to remain silent.
Being and trying in LEC is just hard mentally and you viewers and fans need to respect that more, really.
I want to use this message mainly for a good takeaway in a sense that you should call it a day and lose gracefully if you know you cant make it while also encouraging you that your title or your standing in a game shouldn‘t affect your selfworth.
There is always gonna be people with ill intentions but I believe in the long run honesty hard work and respect will make you succeed and if it doesn‘t work, maybe you just need a change of environment.
Stay safe and take care, peace ✌️