Onyango-Obbo’s piece is a wickedly sharp mirror—held up not just to Africa’s leaders, but to the very idea of power in a post-colonial world turned upside down. In this absurd theatre of geopolitics, it seems the mountain (Trump) has not only refused to come to Muhammad (Africa), but Muhammad has packed his things, boarded a flight, and is now camped outside Mar-a-Lago, mineral samples in one hand and a crumpled port lease in the other.
The DRC’s offer of unlimited minerals is poetic in its irony—how do you offer what you don’t fully control? It’s like gifting someone the moon while still figuring out how to reach it. And Somalia’s bid? Leasing out ports it neither built nor governs is the diplomatic equivalent of subletting your neighbor’s house while they’re still inside.
And yet, the great irony—Trump hasn’t even replied. Not a press conference, not a tweet, not even a sarcastic Truth Social post. The silence is thunderous. It’s as if Africa is auditioning for a role in a movie no one’s filming.
Onyango-Obbo is not just writing commentary—he’s sketching a tragicomic parable. In a world where the post-colonial script is now being read backwards, Africa isn’t resisting empire—it’s offering it refreshments.