Nigerian Politician Profile:
Bank — Switzerland
Hospital — London
Holidays — UAE or USA
Kids — UK, USA, Canada
Pilgrimage — Saudi
Shopping — Paris, Milan
Houses — Abuja, Dubai, London
Fornication —Maldives, Mykonos
Checkups — “Routine” trips abroad
Constituency — Seen only during elections
Promises — “We are working on it”
Scandals — “Politically motivated
Side hustle — Government contracts
Cars — Bulletproof convoy, sirens screaming
Light — 24/7 generator (NEPA is for vibes)
Security — More guards than a bank vault
Country — Managed remotely.
But when it’s time to campaign:
“My people… I feel your pain.” 🙂
If you like use your head this coming election or they use it for you as usual.