@smuffie profile picture
Bert @smuffie

Fastest woman in the parish.

Joined February 2009
  • Tweets 56,796
  • Following 164
  • Followers 482
6,981 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Bert@smuffie
31 Jan 2018
Replying to @chastonmiller
Reminds me of the time I got kicked out of sports direct for doing this....
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Bert@smuffie
26 Jun 2023
Took my wife to the Yorkshire Sculpture Park for his birthday and surprised him with cake 🩷 Happy birthday @Cunty_Smurf X
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Bert retweeted
yara.@pobrecitayarita
21 Jun 2023
nvm
yara.@pobrecitayarita
13 Feb 2023
does anyone have a spare 250k so that i can go on a submarine expedition to see the titanic?
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Bert@smuffie
14 Jun 2023
Only went and got the job didn't I lads. Sat hello to the newest (and probably oldest ever) apprentice plumber in Doncaster 🧑🏼‍🔧

ALT Its Me Im Her GIF

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Bert@smuffie
12 Jun 2023
My wife everyone. Taking my suggestion literally.
This tweet is unavailable
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Bert@smuffie
12 Jun 2023
People getting lob ons over how "needed" the thunderstorms are need to give their heads a wobble. It's been a single week of decent weather. Grow up and have a Twister.
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Bert@smuffie
8 Jun 2023
2 months ago I jacked in my job to try and be a plumber. I've got my theory exams in a weeks time and have been offered interviews for all the jobs (apprenticeships) I've applied for. Feeling quite positive I can do this 🧑🏼‍🔧💦

ALT This Actually Looks Like Im Actually Going Somewhere Coco Lili GIF

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Bert@smuffie
9 Jun 2023
Spoke too soon. Bastards.
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Bert@smuffie
8 Jun 2023
I mean I may actually fail my exams and fuck up my interviews but it's nice to know that people are willing to give an old lady with a silly idea a chance 🥰
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Bert@smuffie
2 Jun 2023
Nailing this babysitting lark
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Bert@smuffie
24 May 2023
"Nothing at all"
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Bert@smuffie
19 May 2023
BBQ prep for tomorrow 🙈
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Bert@smuffie
13 May 2023
Fucking SONIA 🤩 #Eurovision2023
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Bert@smuffie
11 May 2023
Wondering how many people actually get @Rylan "it's noice, it's different, it's unusual" references 😂 #Eurovision

ALT Kath And Kim GIF
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Castaignede@Castaignede
11 May 2023
Weirdly specific about the age of the animals, but OK.
Whipsnade Zoo
@ZSLWhipsnadeZoo
11 May 2023
Are you interested in working with animals aged 15-17? Join Zoo Academy, where you’ll gain invaluable knowledge and practical experience behind-the-scenes at the heart of our conservation Zoo and learn about exotic species and their care. Find out more ow.ly/bcYk50OlEPH
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Bert@smuffie
10 May 2023
Just witnessed a murder on #C4news. Krishnan serving Robert Jenkins his arse on a plate over the Migration Bill 🤌🏼
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Bert@smuffie
10 May 2023
*Robert Jenrick
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