my tweets: twitter.com/search?q=from:ch…
Joined March 2009
- Tweets 67,679
- Following 4,166
- Followers 9,504
- Likes 68,207
86 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
13 Jan 2017
Chairs are pretty great.
You can fight a lion, or sit if you want.
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The people who hate pride month are excited to watch a couple dudes in their underwear fighting to be the top.
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There were a lot of courtyards with fountains in early 2000’s reality tv.
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RT @DaddyJew: *hits blunt* i bet geese goosebumps are goosier than human goosebumps
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Pasta Fazool retweeted
Jun 14
Live, laugh, ignore invasive New World screwworms at your peril, love.
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Pasta Fazool retweeted
Jun 14
Moist people aren't offended by the occasional typo.
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Pasta Fazool retweeted
Jun 14
Your “joke” disgusts me. My chicken died crossing a road.
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Pasta Fazool retweeted
Jun 14
Dear Lord, please do not let me die unless I am freshly showered.
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Pasta Fazool retweeted
Jun 14
Don’t let anyone ruin your day.
You’re an adult, do it yourself….
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Pasta Fazool retweeted
Jun 14
We went past our expiration date.
Now it's spoiled.
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Pasta Fazool retweeted
Dick too fat doctor had me taking girth control pills
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Jun 14
Instructions for frozen chicken pot pie:
1. Preheat oven to 400
2. Cook on baking sheet for 16 days
3. Let stand 5 minutes before serving
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Jun 13
The term "whistleblower" was coined because gym teachers are notoriously bad at keeping secrets.
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Pasta Fazool retweeted
Jun 13
pooping so loud at jimmy johns that everyone thinks there’s construction next door
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Jun 13
Being a cheese fan, the smoked munster was my favorite character on Lost.
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