Joined March 2009
- Tweets 23,692
- Following 1,558
- Followers 1,455
- Likes 70,083
1,624 Photos and videos
30 Oct 2024
I am coming to @LeicsComedyFest on 13th Feb next year and I'm already IMMODERATELY EXCITED to bring this show back in its completed form, having subjected lovely Leicesterians to it in its most chaotic form last year justthetonic.com/leicester-c…
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29 Oct 2024
This is the best thing I've ever seen.
28 Oct 2024
Will Smith sorry for smash mouth
Jimmy Carr sorry for killing joke
Louis C.K. sorry for the strokes
Scientology sorry for bad religion
CIA sorry for dead kennedys
Lazy texters sorry for u2
Owl sorry for the who
Blind dog sorry for wet leg
UK beef industry sorry for madness
ALT A BBC headline from October last year that reads “Czech village priest sorry for smashing pumpkins” and underneath is a picture of carved pumpkins, pre and post smashing
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29 Oct 2024
I'm just designing some business cards to hand out at gigs, and it's SO MUCH CRINGE but then I saw this and... well, if Sommer can do this:
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Louise Leigh is not here any more retweeted
23 Oct 2024
I said to Dick Van Dyke
"If you can pop in to your local German Supermarket and pick me up a Toolbox, a Drill and a Doormat, you can pick yourself up a Quiche"
He said "Um Lidl Middle Aisle, Yum Lidl Pie"
I said "Close enough".
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23 Oct 2024
Excited to find this picture from Ancient Rome of a Dad trying to get his kid into the bath
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23 Oct 2024
And you can get Disney with your Tesco Clubcard vouchers so FILL YOUR SHINY JODHPUR BOOTS
23 Oct 2024
If you’ve got @DisneyPlus and need a big old bawdy brilliant binge then #Rivals is it. I didn’t think it would be my kind of thing but I’m now a HUGE fan of all involved and comping at the bit (horse ref there, kids 💅🏼) for season two. Come on you lovely fuckers!!!! ♥️📺🐴👠
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And the moral of the story is... people are as thick as mince
Here's something I'd like to share with you...
It might go on for a bit, so bear with me. It started years ago, when we (@PlasticJeezus) decided to post a picture of ourselves on the way to a gig. It was just another bit of meaningless content in a sea of meaningless content.
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Happy birthday to the person I would most like to have been in the world
1 Oct 2024
Happy 89th birthday to the brilliant and charming Julie Andrews.
Please enjoy this endearing compilation bloopers where she curses.
And yes, it’s as adorable. 😂😂
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22 Sep 2024
Designing the Hebrides fanfic? Surely that’s a thing, right?
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18 Sep 2024
Excited about this - I love Cardiff!
18 Sep 2024
We are thrilled to welcome @speshmagiclady to headline our night on Oct 2nd.
Support from the wonderful @Eleri_Morgan with sets by Chris Kerley and Max Jones.
The ace @SteffEvansHaha is MC
@TinyRebelCdff 2 weeks tonight!
Book below with @PromoteComedy
jokepit.com/comedy-in/cardif…
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16 Sep 2024
As someone who is quite posh, I get a bit irrationally angry when I meet really posh people who are younger than me, because I can't believe we keep on making them. I thought we'd finished with all that nonsense, but no. We persist.
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16 Sep 2024
RT @GuyLambertUK: Huw Edwards' mental state doesn't interest me at all. He's been mentally fit enough to keep the money the BBC paid him fo…
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Louise Leigh is not here any more retweeted
16 Sep 2024
[TIRES SCREECHING] [CAR CRASH] [BUILDINGS FALLING] “GOOD GOD” [EXPLOSION] [BABY CRYING] “WAAAAH WAAAAAH” [YELLING] [POLICE SIRENS] WEE WOO WEE WOO [HELICOPTERS AND NEWS TRUCKS] “…WE’RE REPORTING LIVE FROM THE SCENE-“ [BANG] “MY LEG… MY LEG…”
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15 Sep 2024
Just a lovely lovely night with the loveliest of funny people
@speshmagiclady
@jo_enright
@JCampbellComedy
Tal Davies
@obrianjules
Thanks to everyone Middleton Hall & Gardens for supporting live comedy 🙏
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11 Sep 2024
A vivid dream that [redacted] comedian was in love with me because I could do a somersault underwater.
Not mad about it to be honest.
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11 Sep 2024
I’ve come onto this thread at 100mph in a rage but I’m getting some quite nice bookings actually post-Fringe which feels like progress. Slowly slowly catchy monkey
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Louise Leigh is not here any more retweeted
7 Sep 2024
"Hey handsome. Why not come over to my place and eat the fried breadcrumbs I'm covered in?" she said, croquettishly.
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6 Sep 2024
I met my wife at a West Side Story fight re-enactment society - we just clicked.
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6 Sep 2024
Every advert in 1999:
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