After 29 years of writing screenplays professionally, here is my rewrite process for every action line.
1. What emotion do I want to evoke from the reader?
2. Does the line evoke it?
3. If not, rewrite it until it does.
4. If no emotion is intended, is it as succinct as possible?
5. If not, rewrite it until it is.
6. If the line is not emotionally or visually needed, cut it.
𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹: clarity of intent and emotional truth. Never sacrifice either one.