Gen X latchkey kid. Caution: Bad jokes ahead.
Joined January 2010
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- Following 1,664
- Followers 2,397
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5,391 Photos and videos
Terri retweeted
I don't get enough sleep for this *gestures at everything*
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Houston, we have a problem. Shall we throw money at it?
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My grandma always said you shouldn’t pay someone to do something you can do yourself, but she never got to experience staying home and ordering DoorDash.
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The simple joy of licking sweet dough directly from the beaters.
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Burning the candle at both ends is really weird if literal
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These cyclists are overestimating my sobriety
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It's not a thumb war unless you draw faces on them. What you're doing is just thumb wrestling.
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20h
Regret sending my parents local crime stories because all of their follow-up questions seem to assume I'm the lead investigator
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Terri retweeted
Jun 15
I have to socialize two (2) days in a row, so I'm going to need 3-5 business months to recover
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I try to make my bed every morning but it’s been 6 weeks since I bought it at IKEA and I still haven’t finished.
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Jun 15
Transactional relationships are not my thing
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Jun 15
It’s called a “Quarter Pounder” because “4 ounce hamburger” sounds kinda puny
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Terri retweeted
At art college I got straight A's, which is why I failed Calligraphy.
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Jun 13
There are people who leave stacks of books around the house and people who only use a kindle and they marry each other.
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Jun 15
How did we understand movies before subtitles.
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