Held together by superglue and sarcasm. Attempting to kick cancer’s ass. Not actually a lawyer. (she/her)
Joined April 2011
- Tweets 17,697
- Following 2,068
- Followers 4,802
- Likes 104,395
6,136 Photos and videos
Rach, Esq. retweeted
Jun 9
i’m actually stealing AI’s job (wasting resources and making up stupid shit)
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
Jun 8
*fills out form*
*clicks "send me a copy"*
email: *dings*
me: ooh what's that
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
Jun 9
men invented handshakes so they could hold hands in the workplace
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Jun 9
Looking at bulges on the early morning train commute thinking each might be the one
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Jun 3
I felt bad about myself…then I saw a man wearing pants that zipped off into shorts
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
Jun 1
Well, it finally happened. I tried to say "all good" and "no problem" on a work call and it came out "all problem"
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
May 30
I like when all of New England comes together over worldly wonders such as a meteor exploding over the south shore
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May 25
Every gym mirror should come with a built-in height chart for dating app douchebag accountability.
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
May 17
No you misunderstood I said I was "whining and dining".
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
May 16
not a jack of all trades but a hoe of all hobbies
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
May 17
sugar daddy: I'm gonna spoil you
salt daddy: I'm gonna preserve you
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May 18
Yeah, I keep that thing on me. And by that thing I mean a block of Kerrygold salted butter.
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
May 14
i want a small, tasteful wedding. no friends. no family. no groom. just me and an open bar
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
I'm going low carb (removing that middle bun from Big Macs).
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
Apr 26
This is third time someone tried to kill that man it’s not news anymore I’m trying to watch the playoffs
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Rach, Esq. retweeted
Apr 18
The giant spider in my room is now named Cotton Eyed Joe, because I want to know two things:
-where did he come from
-where did he go
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