This is what helped my social anxiety. I was always monitoring myself, overanalyzing to make sure I'm not embarrassed. And that in turn embarrassed me because I was definitely being dishonest--pretending confidence while fearing a possibility. Most of my anxiety disappeared because I was creating it, within me, to escape the possibility of being embarrassed. Once I stopped fighting the possibility and embraced it if and when it happened, there was much less to fight against. Which basically means more energy to be present and flow...better conversations and interactions with or without embarrassment.
I believe that the threshold of how much embarrassment a person can tolerate determines the size of the life they can live. every meaningful act requires the risk of looking foolish: beginning anything, speaking your truth, wanting visibly, attempting what you might fail at publicly. the people who cannot tolerate embarrassment do not get to do these things, or they do them only in secret, where the embarrassment is contained. the people who have made their peace with embarrassment, who have decided it isnβt a verdict but a sensation, get access to a larger version of being alive. the difference between the two lives is enormous and it is almost entirely about embarrassment.