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I am genuinely impressed by mainstream media outlets ability to find absolute nobodies in cybersecurity. It's remarkable. I am often left speechless. There has been dozens occasions, especially as of recent, where some media outlet will be like, "Today as a special guest is world-renowned cybersecurity expert and ethical hacker Joe McCyberSecurity". I'm like, who the fuck is Joe McCybersecurity? I've been doing cybersecurity and malware stuff for a long time and I've never once seen or heard of Joe McCybersecurity. If he is world-renowned, I would THINK I would have seen them or heard of them. The camera then pans over to Joe McCybersecurity and it is the most generic cookie cutter white dude in a cheap suit and the tag below him will say something like, "Joe McCybersecurity, Ethical Hacker, CEO of Cybersecurity McJoe Industries" I'm like, "Cybersecurity McJoe Industries? What the fuck is that?". I look it up and it's a generic WordPress website hosted on GoDaddy with an expired SSL cert. Joe McCybersecurity then babbles incomprehensible nonsense for about 60 seconds until the TV host goes "woaw" and it cuts to a commercial. Absolute cinema.

Think this is number one use case for AI.

The #LOLRMM #Sysmon configuration has the DNS, Named Pipe and Network Connection Sections now done aswell. Feel free to check it out. @M_haggis @nas_bench @Kostastsale @cyb3rbuff @_josehelps @cyb3rops github.com/shotgunner101/Sys…

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. $30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I told everyone it would "10x productivity." That's not a real number. But it sounds like one. HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." They stopped asking. Three months later I checked the usage reports. 47 people had opened it. 12 had used it more than once. One of them was me. I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds. It took 45 seconds. Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations. But I called it a "pilot success." Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail. The CFO asked about ROI. I showed him a graph. The graph went up and to the right. It measured "AI enablement." I made that metric up. He nodded approvingly. We're "AI-enabled" now. I don't know what that means. But it's in our investor deck. A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT. I said we needed "enterprise-grade security." He asked what that meant. I said "compliance." He asked which compliance. I said "all of them." He looked skeptical. I scheduled him for a "career development conversation." He stopped asking questions. Microsoft sent a case study team. They wanted to feature us as a success story. I told them we "saved 40,000 hours." I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up. They didn't verify it. They never do. Now we're on Microsoft's website. "Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot." The CEO shared it on LinkedIn. He got 3,000 likes. He's never used Copilot. None of the executives have. We have an exemption. "Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction." I wrote that policy. The licenses renew next month. I'm requesting an expansion. 5,000 more seats. We haven't used the first 4,000. But this time we'll "drive adoption." Adoption means mandatory training. Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches. But completion will be tracked. Completion is a metric. Metrics go in dashboards. Dashboards go in board presentations. Board presentations get me promoted. I'll be SVP by Q3. I still don't know what Copilot does. But I know what it's for. It's for showing we're "investing in AI." Investment means spending. Spending means commitment. Commitment means we're serious about the future. The future is whatever I say it is. As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

🍻 You've heard of BYOB, but what about BYO-VM? Earlier this year, Red Canary Intelligence detected an adversary bringing their own QEMU virtual machine (VM) into an environment under the guise of a technical support call following a spam bombing attack. 💣 🖥️ See what happened after the VM was introduced in our forensic deep dive: bit.ly/44hYy36

Gen Z Timeline: -Go to 4 year university, learn a “practical” skill, and stack college debt -By the time you graduate, major tech companies offshore most jobs and import H1B slaves to replace you -Remain unemployed while insatiable Boomers berate you for being lazy, unemployed, and useless, as they buy their 3rd home in Florida and tell you to pull yourself up by your “bootstraps” -Boomers try to abolish property tax with the goal of you subsidizing the lost tax revenue in the form of higher sales tax and higher income taxes. In this doomsday scenario, they have succeeded in financially raping you for the rest of your life as you finance McDoubles via Klarna to survive.

If you think China using Claude against western targets is terrifying, wait until China discovers Nessus and automates billing you for a pentest

How C mfs look like at you when their 6000 line code run 0.00006073 seconds faster than the same thing in python that was a 4 line script

No one talks about the aura loss when you're job hunting

So help me god the first one of you clown vendors that make me learn TOON instead of just using JSON is going to get it.

These Task Manager memes are absolutely killing me. Please continue the roast.

😂

The dumbest person you know is currently being told “You're absolutely right!” by ChatGPT

I have been in the IDS/EDR industry for almost 30 years and I will say that this problem is not unique to Mitre, but every bake-off or eval you will read about online. Let me explain how evals work in this thread...

I came across something funny today. There’s this guy who sells himself as a cyber security guru. I’ve worked with him for a while, and I know people who did too - all with the same experience: he didn’t even know how to print to PDF, send a signed email, or what a TCP socket or virtual machine is. Never heard of PGP either. And yet … his LinkedIn profile lists 58 “skills” with endorsements, plus 19 glowing recommendations. How does that happen? Do these people gather in some secret “endorsement exchange forum,” where they all pat each other on the back? Feels less like professional networking and more like a pyramid scheme of fake credibility.

My husband is one of the most intelligent people I've ever met, and I was immediately taken by him, but over the years, I've come to learn most people can't see it. He dresses simply. He uses plain language. He likes superheroes and video games. They conclude they're not seeing a smart person. People aren't looking for intelligence itself. They look for signifiers of it, the song and dance of it, the whirling bedazzlement of "genius," like a peacock spreading its wings. That is how easy it is to fool someone.

crazy how tech hiring is so competitive and yet the last 5 people hired on my team are almost completely useless

American took her daughter to urgent care, before going she saw their cash price was $150 At urgent care they took her insurance information and quoted her more, so she asked for the cash price. They denied the cash price because she has insurance and forced her to pay the higher price She says she “pays an arm and a leg” for her insurance every month, and it’s more expensive to use . They don’t even give you the option of the cash price if you have insurance, you just have to pay the higher price This is a scam, Congress MUST do something about this. How many people need to speak up before our representatives actually do something