Laundromats, Business Brokering/Advising, Golf, Sports
Joined February 2020
- Tweets 20,445
- Following 482
- Followers 3,136
- Likes 2,258
1,364 Photos and videos
Jun 1
Good way to be shown the door if you ask me…
May 31
Imagine getting a Member-Member Calcutta canceled because one guy couldn’t handle it.
Threatened the GM, club attorney, and anyone else within earshot over “gambling.”
Congrats on saving the club from a tradition that’s existed at golf clubs for decades.
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Whitey retweeted
LOI hand-filled in a booth of an NJ diner with seller.
Signed on the tailgate of a pickup.
Welcome to Main Street M&A. 🫡
Update: This play just got me under contract for our largest deal yet.
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May 21
The SBA hate laundromats.
May 20
If I wanted to buy a laundromat for $0 down & make $100k/year, here’s exactly what I’d do:
1. Go to SMBmarket(.com)
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Let me get right on that for you.
"Hey Mr. Seller, I've got a Buyer that will pay you a fraction of the annual cash flow you currently receive in perpetuity for a few years to take it off your hands for ya. Interested?"
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Whitey retweeted
If Rai or Schmid wins I’ll take the SAT with a bunch of 16 year olds this month and post the scores. #pgachampionship
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May 13
Louder for those in the back
I’m not the only one seeing a massive shift in perception right now.
Top-tier brokers are starting to auto-filter anyone with "Searcher" or unsubstantiated "XYZ Capital" in their bio, with a website talking about aggressive roll up ambitions with zero track record of success.
Why?
Because the market is flooded with all talk, tire kicking tourists.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗶𝗴𝗺𝗮: Brokers think you’ve got social media, a domain, and a dream - but zero ability to actually close a $3MM deal.
They’re tired of the "Indication of Interest" that leads nowhere.
𝗠𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲?
Be careful with the “Acquisition Entrepreneur" title without further substantiating who you are, or else it feels like a hobby. Delete the "XYZ Bigger Than You Are Entity" which feels worse than a hobby.
ProTip: Be yourself.
Be honest about your experience and capital stack from minute one.
Don't act bigger than you are.
Authenticity is winning more deals in 2026 than LARPing as a PE firm ever will.
Need a prequalification letter so sellers and brokers know you're vetted and are for real? DM me.
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Whitey retweeted
If a buyer is offended that a broker asks for proof of funds, it was probably the right question to ask.
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May 9
Two things I’ll never buy:
Any products from Navien
Two in one washer and dryer
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May 9
Boston MA
Home for sale a couple blocks from me. 4 beds, 2.5 baths, a family home. 1.7million
A conventional 30 year mortgage gives you an 11,000 monthly payment
Public schools are not great and most opt for private or catholic schools. How is this sustainable
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May 8
“I have proof of funds for $50m”
“Send me that letter”
Letter arrives:
Canva template
“Investors” don’t actually have any money
Linked In doesn’t match for buyer or “banker”
Why bother lying?
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Whitey retweeted
Buyer thinking they have the deal and can re-trade expired LOI after due diligence, when another buyer waiting in the wings, and walks away with the deal. First buyer, loses deal, and sunk due diligence costs (split beer).
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May 7
Worth the read - PE ruining something else
May 7
In the last decade, a private investment firm has consolidated much of youth hockey, turning what was once a community-based activity into a profit machine for wealthy investors.
I spent nine months investigating Black Bear Sports Group. Here's our story:
usatoday.com/story/news/inve…
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May 6
Boston term of the day: "Irish Rolex" (ankle monitor)
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May 2
“Fak W2 life and being at the mercy of being fired! Be your own boss!”
Me 3 months post close of acquiring a manufacturing business in late 2022.
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May 1
Seller to me in 2022: “Yes if you need to operate remotely it’s easy. I’m sure it can be done from Kansas if need be.”
Other buyside guys: “You should automate the factory open in the morning. Just put everything on timers. Seems obvious and easy.”
This is me walking into factory at 420am today in May 2026 after doing to start up every morning since October 2022 (missed zero days). Every one of my employees has missed weeks of work due to illness or personal appointments. I’ve missed zero.
Timers huh? This is what paying off almost $1mm of debt in 3 years and making a 40 pct after tax return on a 7 figure equity check looks like. While I go out every 20 minutes to turn up the heats, I’m responding to customer emails and setting up freight for the day.
90 pct leverage and hire a GM? Note that 100 pct of closed searchers doing 90 pct leverage have told me they would never recommend it. Ever
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Apr 27
The career switch from tech sales to business brokering has been a fun ride - far more interesting, better people to interact with daily, and some stories I wish I could post on here every single day.
People will say anything to try to convince you they’re a good fit for a deal
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Apr 27
Reminder that the best way to convince brokers you are a credible buyer is to have a track record. Sometimes doing a smaller deal is the best way to do that. Get off the sidelines and into the game!
There are several reasons brokers/bankers don’t send a CIM automatically when you sign the NDA. (In response to deep conversation below)
Brokers/Bankers should be heavily vetting Buyers!
1. Just because someone signs an NdA, doesn’t mean they are qualified to see the deal. A good broker is heavily vetting buyers.
2. The broker fee agreement and the LOI are conflicting. Fee agreement states broker may need to keep business on the market and visible, and will even mark as pending, and still get a ton of interest if the deal is compelling. LOI says Buyer has exclusivity. However those emails and contacts are filtering in to Buyer CRM. In the event the deal doesn’t move forward, there are a pile of Buyers to contact. The broker isn’t speaking to these buyers during exclusivity.
3. Agnostic. When I hear someone say they are agnostic, to me it says unfocused, no direction, no thesis. And I’m not saying you have to have a formal Ivy League thesis…but on some level you know if you can do a job and run a company. I was at SMBash but may have missed this part of a presentation. While anyone can buy a business, buying a business isn’t for everyone. I personally look at everyone’s website and LinkedIn who signs an NDA whether they are inside a process or on the open market.
4. I recently spoke with an Independent Sponsor who said they had 200 capital providers. To me that sounded fake. We decided to not show them the book. I’m doing a deal with an IS right now. It always takes longer to close…at least twice as long if not more.
5. To me a good Independent Sponsor was an investment banker or worked deeply in private equity and operated or was very involved in a certain niche. They have a handful of true financial backers. They have a team in place. They know the playbook.
Multiples are high.
Buyers are everywhere. Brokers have to seriously vet Buyers to see who can do a deal. In our process, just because you sign the NDA, doesn’t mean you automatically receive the CIM.
@OneManLBO is welcome to see any CIM we have. @MikeBotkin_ has seen our CIM’s. @paulswaney3 is welcome to see our deals. We try to be open minded to Buyers. But I often don’t want to work with a buyer who wants to look at 40,000 companies. We’re getting some other interesting companies. @BigJohn043 send DM your criteria. I’d love to see it.
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Apr 27
“I don’t need to show you POF, money isn’t an issue”
Narrator: it was in fact a massive problem and all they wanted to buy/needed $ for was a $475k laundromat!
On the phone today, a Buyer told me…money is no problem.
Me: “Is the money sitting in your bank account?”
Buyer: “No.” But I know where to get it.
Me: “Tell me more, have been given $5MM by this person previously?”
Well…I kept asking questions and…we could both see very quickly…money would be a problem.
Have a plan of action prior to speaking with brokers. Not just what you’re going to say…but an actual plan on how you’re going to raise capital, how are you going to use your own capital, what lenders are you speaking with, what HNWI are you speaking with?
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Whitey retweeted
There are several reasons brokers/bankers don’t send a CIM automatically when you sign the NDA. (In response to deep conversation below)
Brokers/Bankers should be heavily vetting Buyers!
1. Just because someone signs an NdA, doesn’t mean they are qualified to see the deal. A good broker is heavily vetting buyers.
2. The broker fee agreement and the LOI are conflicting. Fee agreement states broker may need to keep business on the market and visible, and will even mark as pending, and still get a ton of interest if the deal is compelling. LOI says Buyer has exclusivity. However those emails and contacts are filtering in to Buyer CRM. In the event the deal doesn’t move forward, there are a pile of Buyers to contact. The broker isn’t speaking to these buyers during exclusivity.
3. Agnostic. When I hear someone say they are agnostic, to me it says unfocused, no direction, no thesis. And I’m not saying you have to have a formal Ivy League thesis…but on some level you know if you can do a job and run a company. I was at SMBash but may have missed this part of a presentation. While anyone can buy a business, buying a business isn’t for everyone. I personally look at everyone’s website and LinkedIn who signs an NDA whether they are inside a process or on the open market.
4. I recently spoke with an Independent Sponsor who said they had 200 capital providers. To me that sounded fake. We decided to not show them the book. I’m doing a deal with an IS right now. It always takes longer to close…at least twice as long if not more.
5. To me a good Independent Sponsor was an investment banker or worked deeply in private equity and operated or was very involved in a certain niche. They have a handful of true financial backers. They have a team in place. They know the playbook.
Multiples are high.
Buyers are everywhere. Brokers have to seriously vet Buyers to see who can do a deal. In our process, just because you sign the NDA, doesn’t mean you automatically receive the CIM.
@OneManLBO is welcome to see any CIM we have. @MikeBotkin_ has seen our CIM’s. @paulswaney3 is welcome to see our deals. We try to be open minded to Buyers. But I often don’t want to work with a buyer who wants to look at 40,000 companies. We’re getting some other interesting companies. @BigJohn043 send DM your criteria. I’d love to see it.
Apr 27
This looks directionally right to me. Not sure why you don't get a CIM for every NDA you sign but whatever. We also sign about half the LOIs we submit. But you have to kiss a lot of frogs.
Not sure this means you can't do a geo search. It just has to be somewhere like Atlanta with some willingness to go to nearby cities like Augusta, Macon, etc....
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