Weekend before, I fell at home and dislocated my shoulder. Last weekend, I gave myself a second degree burn with hot oil.
Any tips on keeping myself alive this weekend?
I had a cold shower this morning because the internet was down when the smart thermostat was meant to switch on the hot water.
Tell “smart” to my shivering ass.
Where do you get your thrills from?
You: Bungee jumping, sky diving, snowboarding.
Me: The sheer fear that Apple Pay might fail as you exit Old Street station with 400 people behind you.
Hour 6 of Instagram down, scenes from East London:
There are kids in Supreme hoodies looking lost, aimlessly wondering the streets.
Shoreditch House is closed until further notice.
No one is eating avocado toast; what’s the point?