Time to go wonder around Cocoa Beach and see what kind of trouble I can get into on my scooter…might livestream if I see anything cool, might want to set up notification so you don’t get FOMO 🔔

Make us a better phone Elon - I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU

We took Erin Brockovich's map of every data center in America. Then we laid the nation's aquifers on top of it. We noticed they're not building data centers where the land is cheap. They're building them where the water is. Farmers near these facilities say their livestock have stopped falling pregnant. Residents say the humming never stops. And the projects arrive under NDAs, so most towns don't know until the ground is already broken. The question isn’t where they’re building anymore. It’s why they’re building where they’re building. Tonight, we think we can answer that question. We’ve been covering the data center issue in great detail on this broadcast, and for good reason. It’s a serious problem in America and worldwide, and it’s one that is uniting people from all sides of the political aisle because, guess what, whether you are a conservative or a liberal, you have human rights that enable you to have access to basic survival needs like water, which was given to us by God, not by the state or Big Tech, by the way. Erin Brockovich joined the data center fight recently. She launched a site including a map that shows data centers either completed, under construction, planned, or community reported, likely due to all those pesky NDAs in place stopping us from knowing they’re coming to our area. But the public isn’t stupid. So Maria thought she’d do something a little bit different. She created a series of maps using Erin Brockovich’s data center data, then superimposed aquifer maps onto those maps, then superimposed smart city locations onto those maps. What Maria found was pretty mind-blowing and, she says, lends credence to her theory that those in charge are purposely making rural areas unlivable for the purpose of pushing people into smart cities, where they will be under constant surveillance and on a short leash.

OMG my heart is beating so fast and I have tears in my eyes guys…I’m officially a $SPCX STOCKHOLDER!!! Did you get your commemorative SpaceX stock for this historic IPO? Good luck Elon Musk and the entire SpaceX team 🍀 Congratulations 🍾

Alright, I’m speaking for every Floridian and every American tourist when I say this: European men in Speedos — please knock it the hell off. 🛑 We’ve been begging you people for decades. Since I was a kid, I’ve had to watch your pale, reflective, mayonnaise-colored asses bouncing down the beach with your sad little twig and berries flopping around like a depressed slug in a tube sock. You’re so blindingly white you don’t need sunscreen — you need a dimmer switch. Walking around looking like a glow-in-the-dark male stripper ghost with deflated ass cheeks. It’s not a swimsuit, it’s a war crime. That’s not swimwear, that’s a woman’s outfit and you know it! Take that perverted European nonsense to California where they’ll probably give you a trophy for it. And for the love of God, stop lecturing us with your little bobbly French accent about how much more sophisticated you are while your pasty cheeks are out here mooning the entire Gulf Coast. Put some real shorts on or stay on your own damn continent. We’re tired of seeing European mushroom tip silhouettes before noon. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. 🏖️

Please don't tell me retail thinks $SPCE is $SPCX! 🤦‍♂️

Good News - Bad News Called Fidelity to see about investing in $SPCX but because I was below the $2k minimum and they set the deadline for 4pm today June 10 and I’m beyond the window to wire transfer funds I won’t be able to buy at IPO. My friendly @Fidelity advisor was so kind to comfort me telling me that it will eventually be open without limitations and when I asked if I could buy $TSLA with my rollover IRA, he walked me through how to do the trade on the app. Just like that I bought at the dip 🦾 I will buy SpaceX when restrictions are lifted and I might still try to buy on Robinhood…still learning.