Just remember to charge yourself a 3% processing fee and this is golden

A generation is rising for Jesus Christ of Nazareth. 👑

Lunch costs $28 because you freaked out about the flu

Thankfully gas prices can never go above $9.99 since most of the signs only have three digits

Just locked in a 30-year mortgage at 49.25%. I’m going to be a homeowner!

Thoughts about Japan: I got stuck in Japan during the pandemic for 9 months without being able to fly back home. At the time, I was staying in a 6-floor hostel in Ryogoku, completely empty except for me. The staff slowly became my friends since I had no one else in Japan. After the third month of lockdown, my money ran out. They noticed the slow decay in my condition. I was eating half a meal a day. One day, out of nowhere, they called me down to the reception. There was a big box, surrounded by several smaller ones. The staff had told their friends and families about me, and together they gathered groceries and essentials to help me get through those difficult months. There were even handmade face masks someone had sewn because they were impossible to find in stores. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude that I broke down in tears. From that day on, more than friends, we became family. Japan and its people embraced me when I was at my lowest point. It healed something in me when I needed it the most. Thank you Japan.

He just sat down after a long day. Have his wife yell something unintelligible from the other side of the house.

It seems the falcon living at the Lublin thermal power plant suspected he was being filmed.

When you’re up $1,420 and start chasing an extra $80 to round it off and now you're down -$900.

Claude, find me a WR in the 2nd round nobody has heard of. Make no mistakes.

Most accurate portrayal I’ve seen today.

I’ve never heard someone use that line in a argument

Brock Purdy career stats compared to the rest of the QBs in the entire history of the NFL: QBR: #1 Passer rating: #1 Yards per attempt: #1 The 49ers sb window will be open as long as they have Brock Purdy and decent health.

Ladies & Gentlemen I present to you the United States of America 🫴🏽

BREAKING: 🚨 🇳🇴 🇮🇱 NORWAY FIRST COUNTRY TO ARREST EPSTEIN PEDOPHILE Norway just put the west to shame. Former PM Thorbjørn Jagland was taken into custody today on charges of “GROSS CORRUPTION” Your turn, America.

- Highest passer rating in a single season in 49ers history - Most passing yards in a single season in 49ers history - 4th in MVP voting - 2 game winning drives in the 23-24 postseason - Led the largest comeback in NFCCG history (Led in rushing yards in the second half)

You’re a fucking idiot if you still think it’s left vs right btw

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently and my nephew said “you should go inside when you get there”and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Man #1coin really going to 0 ain’t it

🚨 BREAKING: Files confirm Donald Trump BLEW THE WHISTLE on Jeffrey Epstein's disgusting activities in a 2006 phone call with the police "TRUMP was one of the very first people to call" 👀 Trump said Ghislaine Maxwell is "evil" and "focus on her" Democrats are SPEECHLESS.