If Elon Musk’s one trillion could do so much good, then why haven’t all our multiple trillions in tax solved all the world’s problems before now?

If I had Elon's money I would solve world hunger instantly.😡 Sent from a device purchased with with a sum of money that could have been used to feed an Ethiopian family for a year, but wasn't, because my generosity is purely hypothetical.

I have many more issues with Ilhan Omar being worth $30 million than Elon being worth a trillion.

Elon Musk isn’t stealing from me, Elizabeth Warren is stealing from me.

Reminder: Zohran and his family keep an extra luxury home in Uganda in a neighborhood surrounded by armed security because everyone else is so poor.

Me calling my broker to purchase 0.5 shares of SpaceX stock today

I think we all need to remember, this year's Animal Farm was a complete flop. With an estimated $35 million production budget, the film needed closer to $87.5 million globally to break even. It only managed to scrape past $5 million globally.

Our amazing CNN photogs capture a practice flyover over the White House:

“I never thought I’d live to see the day when the right wing would become the cool ones giving the middle finger to the establishment, and the left wing becoming the snivelling self-righteous twats, going around shaming everyone.” - John Lydon, The Sex Pistols

So the founders also knew that IPAs were dogshit? Nice

The 2026 Democrat Party is a place where people named Medhi, Hasan, and Saikat lecture an American Jew named Jake about why he needs to support a guy with a Nazi tattoo

“I’m a God-fearin’, gun-totin’ Texan who chews tobacco and works in the oil fields. And I’m the proud to be voting for James Talarico! PS - how about them Houston Oilers?”

Future generations are going to think this is AI because surely no organization would be dumb enough to screw this up…

Coca-Cola commercial from 1976 The past is a foreign country

Steve Sarkisian lost 10 league games in three years in that conference

“The UN just walked back its climate doomsday models – after BILLIONS were wasted. ‘Every apocalypse is a business model.’ They used fear to grab your cash, your gas stove, your truck, your burger.” Watch this epic takedown of the climate cult from @greggutfeld. “The UN is backing off after calling you a climate denier, as if questioning the faulty models is like denying the Holocaust. But no big apology, no refund check, no "our bad." Because in the end, they got what they wanted. The motive wasn't the environment, it was greed. The instrument was fear. Once panic becomes an industry, there's no incentive to calm people down. That's why every Dem crisis now comes with a consultant, a nonprofit, a celebrity telethon, and a 900-page spending bill. Every apocalypse is a business model. And for the climate change scammers, no business had been hotter than the end of the world.”

Before turning in, I just wanted to quickly remind everyone that Stephen Colbert's "Late Show" will be going off the air this week because he lost 40% of his audience since 2018 and the average age of his viewers is now 68. Have a great night.