my therapist changed my life when he taught me there are 4 types of conversation:
1) small talk (weather, etc)
2) swapping (you tell a story, I tell a story)
3) listening (you tell a story, I listen/validate)
4) problem-solving (you tell me a story, I help solve the problem)
Normalize not bringing up a similar story about yourself when someone is telling you something about themselves, just listen