This is where I document my recovery from complex trauma. How did I do it? Therapy with a licensed trauma therapist for 5 years. (IFS and EMDR).

Joined October 2021
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I was traumatized when I was very young. I spent my entire life dissociated, disconnected, anxious and depressed. I wanted to feel better but nobody was able to help. Eventually I connected the dots and realized the suffering I experienced had a name and it was "complex trauma".
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BeTraumaFree retweeted
Overprotective mothers were once underprotected daughters.
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The reason CPTSD goes undiagnosed: it doesn’t look like trauma. It looks like personality. PTSD is an event. CPTSD is an environment you couldn’t escape during, most often, your formative years. It’s trauma that gets woven into the fabric you mistake for identity.
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"You will bond with something that gives you relief"
This guy explains why everything we know about addiction is actually wrong [📹 Johann Hari | TED]
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Some people ask why I keep repeating “no one is coming to save us” in my trauma recovery material. It’s not to bum anyone out. It’s because in my experience waiting for someone to save us is one of the most destructive patterns trauma survivors get tricked into. Nobody’s coming. Our recovery is 100% on us. And that’s actually the good news.
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This definitely happened in my 20s, 30s and 40s, long after I was aware of this recurring pattern. Awareness didn't stop those people entering my life and causing harm. What finally gave me the strength to change was trauma therapy.
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A hard truth about neurodivergent people (specifically ADHD and autism) is they often attract people with unhealed narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
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The tragic aspect of this for me was that complex trauma and autism made it almost impossible for me to make and keep friendships. Now, after years of trauma therapy and daily recovery practice, that is slowly changing. I can attend social events now without paralyzing anxiety.
Looked back at the recovery journal I was keeping a couple of years ago. Noticed how much lonelier I was then. Good friendship is deeply healing. #MECFS #longcovid #mindbody #BPS
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If you find out you’re neurodivergent later in life you’ve essentially been method acting the whole time.
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I have massive self compassion for that wounded, suffering person I used to be. I have unconditional love for her. I forgive her for all the bad decisions she made and all the bad things she did when she was just trying to survive and take care of her loved ones. You can heal!
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Stress will show up, no matter what you do or don't do. The important question is, how are you going to handle stressful things that happen to you?
Robert Sapolsky is a Stanford neuroscientist who proved chronic stress is the silent killer doctors ignore. On Chris Williamson's podcast, he revealed 10 "normal" habits you do every day that wreck your sleep, mood, and nervous system: 1) Replay conversations in your head
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Complex trauma steals your laughter, your crying, your singing, your dancing, and your ability to tolerate human touch. When you heal your trauma, all of that heals too and you will be able to feel joy and connection.
Laughter is anti-inflammatory. Crying is regulating. Hugging is immunoprotective. Singing is vagal toning. Dancing is neurogenic. Joy is a biological necessity.
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Replying to @BeTraumaFree
While trauma-bound we put up with a lot of abuse/neglect. I can’t believe the stuff I was blind to or explained away and put up with. No more.
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Lately I've been doing some tentative, moderate socializing and I've met a number of what I call "safe" people. Safe people are genuinely nice and kind and their behavior consistently proves that. After a lifetime of painful social exclusion, this is a small miracle for me.
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That's a great question! After five years of trauma therapy and a lot of healing, I am more tuned into my own nervous system and "interoception". I am able to notice when my body sends danger signals regarding people's behavior. And I am now able to set healthy boundaries.
Replying to @BeTraumaFree
How do you know that they were and are safe people?
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😊😅😇
They say when you fall, get up and keep going. I'd say, lay there for a while, enjoy the clouds, take a few breaths, maybe even take a nap.
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BeTraumaFree retweeted
The reason why I mention this is because I kindly listened to my friend's trauma stories every day for years because I thought I was helping her. In fact, she became far sicker. All of my kind and supportive listening to her hundreds of trauma stories didn't help her.
Regarding trauma stories, I had a friend who phoned me every day for years and every phone call was trauma dumping, a lot of which was old stuff. (not current trauma). Eventually she started bragging about stalking people. That's when I knew there was something wrong.
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BeTraumaFree retweeted
It’s facts that so many women end up overweight in the midsection because all that trapped stress and unspoken drama is basically just their body receipts for things they haven't let go of yet. #women #people #girls #ladies #moms #weight #emotions #anxiety #depression #cptsd
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I had a good morning working on a project with another person. After the session ended I felt good and full of energy but I was also craving sweets. I'm starting to be mindful of how I use food to avoid feelings, to numb feelings, to distract from feelings and to manage feelings
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Where were those "safe people" all my life? Now in recovery, I look back and I know they were all around me and some of them even tried to be friends with me. Sadly, due to my complex trauma and autism I was not emotionally available. I am healing that now!
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