To stupidity and beyond
Joined March 2014
- Tweets 5,470
- Following 1,165
- Followers 28,261
- Likes 4,260
25 Photos and videos
3 Oct 2022
I decided to start repeating everything my son said just to annoy him and now he's not talking to me because 'apparently' I ruined his school play.
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Buzz Lightbeer retweeted
28 Sep 2022
I have reached that stage in life where fixing one medical problem leaves you with at least one new one to face.
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29 Sep 2022
I'm so poor my bank account ran off with another man.
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Buzz Lightbeer retweeted
23 Sep 2022
We can only edit our own tweets, what good is that?
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Buzz Lightbeer retweeted
26 Sep 2022
Why has no one questioned the validity of violets being blue?
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Buzz Lightbeer retweeted
4 Sep 2022
The closest feeling I've found to an orgasm is getting a stubborn, sharp popcorn kernel out from between my teeth.
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28 Sep 2022
Being in your works WhatsApp group is 95% wishing people you barely know a Happy Birthday.
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Buzz Lightbeer retweeted
26 Sep 2022
If you’re ever hungry І can’t recommend anything more strongly than “eating food”
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Buzz Lightbeer retweeted
26 Sep 2022
Cobwebs are just goth tinsel.
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27 Sep 2022
INTERVIEWER: It says here you are fluent in 5 languages but it doesn't name them?
ME: Yes, I'm fluent in English, American, Canadian, Australian and New Zealand.
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Buzz Lightbeer retweeted
26 Sep 2022
I haven't lost it, it's in an offshore account in the Caymans.
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Buzz Lightbeer retweeted
26 Sep 2022
Our family crest is a cockroach.
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26 Sep 2022
Electric prices so high at the moment we're going to have to start referring to stupid people as 'the lights are off but someone's home'.
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Buzz Lightbeer retweeted
20 Sep 2022
A happy & healthy relationship also known as getting fat together
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