Excellent!🤣🤣🤣

Banker: “Would you like to apply for the American Express platinum card?” “No way” -Jose

If America beats Paraguay in tonight's World Cup match, come celebrate at Steak n Shake tomorrow with a Patriot milkshake for only 25 cents! Limited to one milkshake per customer. 🇺🇸 ⚽️ 🏟 🇺🇸

Ferris Bueller took his "Day Off" 41 years ago today. June 5th 1985. Happy Ferris Bueller Day #80s

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Anyone else remember when Special K created their own diet and it was basically just eating two bowls of Special K every day and everyone accepted that as medically sound?

Me whenever @wrowclif posts a new baby picture.

How it feels to type in ur email and password with a remote

Why were they always stale?

The curse of high apostrophe intelligence. #editors #authorslife

at a certain point designers just really have to ask themselves if any rebrand has ever been a genuine improvement, ever

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

I was faced with many red apple choices at Trader Joe’s and ultimately decided upon Cosmic Crisp - because of all the receipts that @wrowclif posts. He officially influenced me.🤣

Today has been a rough day I was at TJ Maxx today and heard a loud crash and something shattering. Being nosy, I walked towards the sound and saw some people whispering and looking back to the end of the next aisle. When I walked down that aisle, I saw that an older lady had hit a shelf and many things had fallen to the ground and broken. She was kneeling on the floor embarrassed, frantically trying to clean up. I felt so bad for her. Every one was just standing there staring at her. So I went and knelt beside her and told her not to worry and started helping her pick up the broken pieces. After about a minute, the store manager came and knelt beside us and said, “Leave it, we will clean this up.” The lady, totally embarrassed said, “I need to pay for all this.” The manager smiled, helped her to her feet and said, “No ma’am, we have insurance for this, you do not have to pay anything!” If you have read this far, give me another minute. Wherever you are, close your eyes, and imagine God doing the same for you! Imagine the broken pieces of your mistakes or the pieces of your broken heart from all the blows life has thrown at you all over the floor and you’re there trying to collect all of the pieces and fix them yourself. Now imagine God comes and kneels right down beside you, smiles and says to you, “Leave it all there, I will clean this up for you.” He loves you that much and wants to put all of those pieces back together if you will let Him! With Him we have this insurance and it’s called GRACE! It’s free! All you have to do is ask Him to forgive you, help you, and to heal you. He’s faithful, I promise!

CLEVELAND DEFEATS SEATTLE IN EXTRAS!!

I’m very serious about this. You need to be making your home a beautiful and orderly place. Your home, then your wardrobe, then your yard and garden, then the borders of your place, then your neighborhood, town, state, country. It all radiates outward. But you can’t think about all that. You can only control your immediate surroundings, where you live and what you wear. This orders your mind - and the way you dress sends signals to everyone who sees you, that you care, that people around them care. That we are fully formed adults whose actions in the world matter.

LIFE HACK Keep a 40 year old refrigerator in your garage so you have a working one when the one you bought earlier this year breaks down

Amazing

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