Two things about soccer: 1) The flopping is crazy. 2) I know why they sing and chant so much. Most of the game is so boring the crowd needs to entertain themselves. 😂😂😂

This is it, this is why I can’t watch.

Eating in Mexico coming from England or Scotland has got to be a transcendent experience. Like seeing colors for the first time

I audibly gasped 🫢

Took me about 4 hours to write. Hope I gave some justice to the misrepresentation of Abaxx in the report. $ABXX.TO

My parents have always been a well done type of couple growing up Finally got them to upgrade to medium-well awhile ago (baby steps) lol Anyways, I had always grown up ordering well done steak because that’s all I’ve ever known Go to my best friend’s house one night and his dad is cooking up steaks for us He’s a big guy and if you saw him back then, you can tell he was a man who knows how to cook some good food He asks how I’d like my steak done I say “well done” because again, that’s all I’ve ever known lol He just stares at me for like ten seconds and then finally says “absolutely fucking not, not in my house - you’ll have it medium tonight” Here I am, a scrawny 14 year old, like wtf am I gonna say or do here It’s a free steak and his house so I can’t say anything but deep down I thought I was about to be eating “blood” for the first time and kinda nervous Ends up being one of the best steaks of my life and finally got to taste what a real steak should taste like Came home that night and told my parents I’ll never eat well done again and they robbed me of my childhood (joking) And from that day on, I always get it medium or medium rare Forever grateful for that night haha

a function in Microsoft teams where if someone tries to send only the word “hi” it’ll prompt you to add more context before sending like outlook does with the word “attach”

I can’t stand when someone types “hello” on Microsoft teams and waits for a response. Please just type out what you want in the first message.

Me to anyone who will listen after Scottie’s playoff run:

Getting called to the managers office at JP Morgan

BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK Ern Dog's first homer of the season!

My top 5 linebackers still available: 1. Josiah Trotter, Missouri 2. CJ Allen, Georgia 3. Jacob Rodriguez, Texas Tech 4. Anthony Hill Jr., Texas 5. Jake Golday, Cincinnati Get one of these guys to Indy on day 2, please

Azzi Fudd and Paige Bueckers at Dallas Wings practice

Unfavouriting your picks on the Masters app when they’re 4 through 4

when you've calculated the amount of sleep you're gonna get but you can't fall asleep so it's getting lower

The year is 2035. You wake up on a Thursday morning and turn on the Masters. The honorary starters — MrBeast, Bad Bunny, and LeBron James — have just hit their opening tee shots. They are all wearing Malbon. The chairman of Augusta — the founder of the Savannah Bananas — steps up to announce the tournament is underway. They cut to commercial. A 90-second ZYN ad featuring the Kelce brothers. It’s a tradition unlike any other.

So this is why actors don't like watching their own movies. Before adding special effects, it is just ridiculous. 😂😂😅

Y’all very young, but there was a time when we used to spend money buying ringtones, and now I’ve had my phone on silent for like seven years.

The Mammoth’s new Zamboni looks like the Mastodon Zord from the OG Mighty Morphin Power Rangers