Into: Full-contact lawn darts, The Purge event staff, amateur time travel, not calling your mom the next morning.
Joined December 2016
- Tweets 67,996
- Following 1,740
- Followers 1,248
- Likes 278,128
6,887 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Jun 14
While measuring oxygen tubing, the flimsy metal tape measure made it over a Glade plug-in and plugged me in for a brief moment. Left a dark black spot on the wall outlet and tripped the breaker.
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There is always a tweet.
26 Mar 2015
Message to Obama re: Iran: βThe worst thing you can possibly do in a deal is seem desperate to make it.β β The Art of the Deal
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I'd hate to add up the days and weeks worth of time I've spent watching Jon Stewart. Pure genius comedy.
youtu.be/ZsAQ_B7zVJI?is=XBUqβ¦
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Jun 15
We trust your say-so. But, are there any rigged fights, tonight?
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Jun 15
Today, "the Leftists" sabotaged a pool with algae AND we infiltrated The Weather Channel to give an accurate weather forecast. Rest easy warriors. We might actually have to do something next time.π€£
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Jun 14
Incredible.
Two children from China have set a world record for paired Rubikβs Cube solving, completing the puzzle in just 8.57 seconds.
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Jun 14
The reflecting pool's "American Flag Blue" must be the color of our next flag.
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Jun 14
The storm passing over me in Iowa right now, is the storm heading to DC, for Trump's birthday party tomorrow.πβοΈππ₯Ήπ€£
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Jun 14
MAGA doesn't understand the excitement of Trump being forced to take his name off the Kennedy Center. If it rains on Trump's gladiator event, they'll see real giddiness.π€£
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he smoked the crack by ounces and is still smarter than all magas doing cosplay as "christians".
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Jun 13
Did Donald Trump start a war with Iran to cover up his relationship with Epstein?
80%
Yes
20%
No
22,821 votes β’ Final results
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Just 16 percent approve of Trump UFC event at White House: Survey
thehill.com/policy/sports-gaβ¦
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Jun 13
The weather forecast for the UFC Trash 250 is looking miserable. Trump will sweat through his diaper. I like when you're all sweaty and flies start biting.π
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Jun 13
A crowd has gathered at midnight to watch Trump's name taken off the Kennedy Center. People want the letters and a guy yelled, "Give me the D."π€£
youtube.com/live/uZfkRJXVPx8β¦
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