Sometimes right before posting a dumb joke on here, I imagine being on trial and the post being used as character evidence, and the jury is so appalled by my humor that they immediately find me guilty.

Planning on going no-wifi in our next house. Family will all share a desktop.

I'm dirt broke. Here's my opinion on rich people:

Being a man is the best. I can burn 2000 calories by just taking a nap.

Trying to find a way out of a gym membership? Wear a shirt with a swastika. Instant cancellation, no questions asked.

Search: "best [thing]" Results: "best [thing] on a budget"

Bernie you've been in Congress for TWENTY YEARS

At a summer camp I went to in high school, students were asked to imagine a blank sheet of paper represented all information, and then fill in the portion of the page that represented the knowledge they currently possessed. I drew a tiny dot, and figured others would do the same. When I looked around, though, nearly every one else was shading over half the page.

Whenever I come across this image it's referring to something I don't know

6 feet 6 figures 6 months since last leg day

Once you hit a 225 bench and 135 overhead press you must face the final boss: the 45-pound squat.

Two chimps in a trench coat could've made this company profitable but we're already $40T under. How much worse can it get?

men are so preoccupied with watching A24 movies they havent been making moves to find A 24 year old to carry their child

Using as few words as possible is the central underlying principle of cleverness.

guy goes to a buddhist monastery to study. interviewed by a master, he asks: what do you teach here? the master responds: nothing. he goes back to his room, packs, leaves. back in the city a few weeks later, he gets a letter from the master. it says: you are the best student we've ever had

The For You page seems to have a reductive effect on follower counts because I'm often surprised I wasn't following someone whose posts I frequently see and engage with.

America is not a haggling culture - we evaluate claims as standalone notions first - while third-worlders are accustomed to their opening statements receiving counter. Haggling cultures will say outlandish things anticipating pushback, but Americans will simply disregard them - that is, except the loud lefty types whose sole measure of a concept's validity is how 'marginalized' the person is who proposed it. They'll try to make it law. It's a fully stoppable force; we've just become too easily moved.

My mom fell for the LA Cannibal Restaurant hoax so the boomer police took her to Florida to serve a life sentence in a 55 community.

I drink a bottle of grape vine extract every night and that only makes it worse.

880 iq

Unfortunately was just let go of my job as Marketing Manager at Hello Fresh.