I write strange stories. I drink coffee. I'm addicted to horror movies. I love to swim, walk, hike, run, explore, & laugh. Semi-professional curser.
Joined May 2013
- Tweets 42,816
- Following 2,669
- Followers 1,852
- Likes 90,624
2,178 Photos and videos
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I will discuss slasher movies, erotica, or mysteries with just about anyone.
I'm a hobby smut writer happy to share my work with the non-squemish.
If you know who Travis McGee is and appreciate Roy Burns we can probably be friends.
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Slamming your balls in your dresser drawer will cure blue balls.
again i think we need to put women through sex ed again where they get a lesson on what blueballing is and why men are frustrated about this
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If men would just meet in groups to handle themselves they could leave women alone and find relief.
again i think we need to put women through sex ed again where they get a lesson on what blueballing is and why men are frustrated about this
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Same place you always do.
To your social media audience of fellow morons who think your anger and lack of wit are entertaining.
god, i really hope a foid tries to argue why her desires oblige the other to physical pain or endurance of what isn't wanted because you all know where i'm going to take that
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IsabellaEmilyWrites retweeted
Jun 14
“Why are women choosing the bear?”
Because the bear won't record it, send it to his friends, and ask what she was wearing.
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Jun 14
I’ve smoked crystal meth out of a broken light bulb and have sold pissing videos to men online and I’m still a better person than Joel Osteen.
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This is what you voted for.
This is EXACTLY what you voted for.
You're just cruel and were excited to watch him do it to other people.
Guess what? He doesn't care about or like you either.
Fuck you from the bottom of my heart, because your vote got us here.
Jun 12
#BREAKING: Struggling MAGA senior voter: I actually have panic attacks. I’ve heard a couple this past week, and I get very emotional over it. I don’t want to work anymore, but I can’t afford to retire…It’s not an overnight thing, but it’s been two years now. You said you’d bring down the grocery prices. Literally I must be the most angry person when I grocery shop because I buy the same things every week, and I see it jump EVERY WEEK, it’s not every couple month, it’s literally every week.” 😢
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IsabellaEmilyWrites retweeted
Jun 13
BOOMER: “Nobody wants to work anymore.”
ME: “The warehouse down the road pays $18 an hour.”
BOOMER: “That’s good money.”
ME: “Average rent is $2,200.”
BOOMER: “Get roommates. Work overtime. Stop complaining.”
Funny how every “solution” demands workers lower their standards, kill their free time, and live like broke college students forever.
But nobody ever tells corporations to pay enough to survive.
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I saw a Hispanic family having a cookout at a local park and I almost had a tantrum and called ICE, but then remembered that I'm not a pathetic piece of shit so I just waved
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If foreplay is a chore sex is undeserved.
Jun 12
Because y’all always demand foreplay before sex but now we’re supposed to do just foreplay and no sex 🤦♂️
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IsabellaEmilyWrites retweeted
Jun 12
You cannot afford healthcare.
You cannot afford childcare.
You cannot afford rent.
You cannot afford groceries.
You cannot afford gas.
And your taxes paid for SpaceX making Elon Musk a trillionaire.
But sure. Blame it on the single mom who gets $6.20 a day in Food Stamps.
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Logged off yesterday afternoon and this dork spent HOURS screaming about his baby fetish in my notifications.
Responsibilities sweetie. I’m back now I know you missed me 😘
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IsabellaEmilyWrites retweeted
Jun 12
Watching people cheer for Elon Musk becoming the world's first trillionaire is like watching passengers on the Titanic cheer for the iceberg.
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His wife is totally real and not imaginary at all.
If you’re curious about my sex life im sure my wife won’t mind explaining it to you. Would you like me to hand her the phone?
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IsabellaEmilyWrites retweeted
Jun 12
Capitalism is better than socialism because one man gets to be a trillionaire instead of everyone having healthcare
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IsabellaEmilyWrites retweeted
Jun 12
A 10-year-old giving birth is not a miracle.
It’s evidence that every adult system around her failed.
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This explains why men have just gotten consistently shittier through generations.
Jun 12
🚨: Study reveals that the sperm cells carry biological ECHOES of a father's stress, particularly from childhood trauma
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