Verbose.
Joined October 2014
- Tweets 629
- Following 150
- Followers 23
- Likes 647
23 Photos and videos
14 Oct 2022
I wasn't prepared for the sudden need to crop this photo to block view of my Fandango notifications, but I did try my best. Food. Comedy. If we time it right, you can blow cake out of your nose instagram.com/p/CjtNPydACCc/…
J. August retweeted
2 Aug 2022
Last night was the first time I’ve seen a pandemic pit. All the kids had masks on. Was a charming blend of I don’t give a fuck/I respect my fellow humans.
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20 Jul 2022
3 days away, seats are probably still available, but find out soon before soon is too late and then it's almost oxymoronic!
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17 Jul 2022
Look, comedy! Over there! Book early, we don't have enough seats for this good a show.
26 Jun 2022
Let's invent an abortion gun and really confuse the crap out of the GOP.
29 Mar 2022
Can we stop pretending that Jada Pinkett Smith didn't look really good at the Oscars? Or is that rendering the whole "defending his afflicted wife" narrative false? Yeah, she's got alopecia. She's also still Jada Pinkett Smith.
26 Jan 2022
I hate it when this happens. I basically become a snickers commercial.
This tweet is unavailable
10 Dec 2021
The headline started "Trump loses appeal..." and I stopped reading, it couldn't have any more truth in it.
18 Aug 2021
I can't calculate the loss to comedy this is. A brilliant and unique voice, his smirk and the glint in his eye made me always think, "This is what I want comedy to be." Gutted. RIP.
18 Aug 2021
Brutal news about Sean Lock today.
I loved him. I’m watching clips of him right now - laughing & crying. I’ll miss him so much.
22 Jun 2021
Heading out to see @Corybranan after 15 months of no live music. I couldn't have asked for better. Wife plans on crying.
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J. August retweeted
13 May 2021
I have nowhere to put all this gasoline my hoarding shed is still full of toilet paper
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15 Apr 2021
@TheDailyShow Any chance we'll see a report on @CariolHorne? Only took 15 years to tell this good apple she was right to stop a fellow officer from choking a man to death.
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7 Nov 2020
Yay! The end of my Trump/Ben Carson joke! Look at those handsome boys.
7 Nov 2020
This is Major and Champ. They are the dogs of @JoeBiden and @DrBiden. Champ has already been to the White House, but Major hasn’t yet. Champ can’t wait to show him around. Both 14/10 would be an honor to pet
1 Oct 2020
So he knew COVID-19 was dangerous and lied about it. Just like Tommy Lee Jones in Men In Black.
"People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it." REMEMBER?
So why does Agent K get a pass?
Oh, yeah, MiB is fictional. Almost forgot which one was reality.
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17 Aug 2020
I think the saddest thing about Robert Trump's death is that he didn't get to hear how @realDonaldTrump 's golf game went.
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