If I couldn’t get a boner no matter what it would widely be regarded as a problem I should solve for my spouse if I wanted her to be happy, whether I take pills, inject testosterone, whatever it took, but if a man’s wife couldn’t get aroused no matter what then it’s his problem.
Imagine you couldn’t get a boner no matter what you did but you had to try and perform anyway, and it probably hurt while you were doing it. This is the closest thing I can think of to what unaroused sex is like for a woman.
And before the accusations come about “why don’t you try??” We often have and know how much it sucks. It’s one thing if the woman NEVER wants sex, but that’s an extreme, but sometimes a girl just knows when things aren’t gonna work.