My son has been asked to wear a Vote Labor t-shirt for 2 weeks as part of a social experiment to see how people react. So far he has been spat on, punched and had a bottle thrown at him. I'm curious to see what's going to happen when he leaves the house.

You use a condom & bitches be like “ how was it?” I have zero clue baby girl

Just found out the first lady who let me bust inside of her passed away in 2024. I guess God needed a Puerto Rican retard with hall of fame pussy. Please respect my privacy at this time.

every friend group got that one homie that lost his way and is a shell of his former self

Telling the barista at Starbucks i clogged the toilet as Im leaving

The RBA has been forced to raise interest rates and punish mortgage holders AGAIN because this Labor Government doesn’t understand basic economics. Their reckless spending and non-stop handouts are driving inflation through the roof. They’re throwing taxpayer dollars around and then act shocked when inflation explodes. Governments are supposed to deliver economic stability, not buy votes. Labor have destroyed productivity, wiped out industries and manufacturing, and flooded the public service with more bureaucrats to keep their poll numbers up. Australians aren’t destitute because they’re lazy, they’re destitute because this Government has killed hope. People are crying out for help and Labor’s answer is another handout, paid for by putting it on the national credit card. We are NOT going to turn this around while they keep buying votes with taxpayer money. Next week’s budget is the moment of truth. If they’ve got any sense left Labor will show real restraint, cut the waste and start reducing both debt AND inflation.

Boss: "Who can train the new girl?" The dude with a happy wife and 2 kids:

Telling everyone how impressive my first gay bareback orgy was

Peeing in the shower is truly an indulgent joy, only rivaled by slapping my nonverbal son

When I’m asked to read my most offensive tweets at the hearing

We have one. It's faggots.

When you and your boy about to tag team a shorty and he pulls out a condom

Live bands at pubs are worse than Ebola. Literally everyone wants them to shut the fuck up.

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels

*person on every dating app imaginable* sorry i just don’t think im really looking for a relationship right now

How it feels to walk around farting at work

They should do an episode of #Insiders filmed from the waist up and at the very end reveal David Speers has been naked from the waist down the entire episode.

Blake Snell when he plays the Jays