chronically unserious, emotionally impervious
Joined August 2013
- Tweets 62,978
- Following 3,364
- Followers 10,855
- Likes 190,496
3,570 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
28 Sep 2025
I took Tylenol while austistic now my son is pregnant
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moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
Jun 14
Its good but I’m still not prepared to start trying to marry for love
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moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
Jun 11
us in another universe 😂😂😂
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Saw some girls boyfriend bring her a baby chipmunk and immediately lost interest in the guy I was talking to
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Him: well you’ve never really been good at writing algorithms
Me: and you’ve never been good at minding your own business or knowing who your dad is but I didn’t say anything about it damn
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I can’t stand how every time I order Uber Eats it says “invite a friend get $15” how tf am I supposed to find someone who has never used Uber Eats???
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I got distracted and just stumbled upon this while switching apps and now I don’t remember why I was sad 😅
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moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
Jun 5
No reason to do this by the way
Jun 5
Scientists turn yeast found in gut of ancient mummy into 'very good' sourdough bread - beer's next trib.al/mcPYdAp
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This must be an early morning routine cause I live in the BBL capital and I only ever see them flipped the right way
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moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
Jun 4
He'll probably disappear and this device won't see the light of day.
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I just got home after days of being away and my cat is absolutely devastated so basically I need to figure out a way to travel with my cat asap
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It’s been 3 hours and she still won’t come near me 😖😖😖 wtf
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I can assure you I will be shoehorning this exact sentence into as many conversations as I can for the next 5-7 business days
Not if you killed Osama Bin Laden. Your age doesn't matter at that point.
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This is why I text my male friends do you have food before I come over and the ONE time I don’t 🤦♀️
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I just worked all day and then walked a mile here and a bitch can’t even get a damn BANANA???
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