Father, Husband, glow in the dark Navy vet. Here for a laugh. It's a joke, not a dick: don't take it so hard.

Joined May 2014
3,382 Photos and videos
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Sometimes it's better to bend before you break, and sometimes you need to break to rebuild stronger.
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Durts McGlurp retweeted
Guys will meet up with a friend they haven't seen in 8 years and within 30 seconds be talking like they just hung out yesterday
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I am not a m/b/trillionaire apologist. I do know the gov't seeds or supplements industries they want to see private industry take over. Reportedly about 20% of Musk's income (mostly SpaceX) is gov't launches. He started a seeded industry business and is doing well. 1/3
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Dig deeper in your hatred. Have a hot take that is more informed than your socio/political level in life. Don't mistake your poor decisions, like your education/career path or political voting record, for the success of others. 3/3
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But what do I know. Anyway, here are some memes. 4/3
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A summer treat
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World Cup travelers are not all prepared to be here.
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I have done this in every romantic relationship.
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When I say Hillshire you say Farms. Hillshire ... Farms #GoMeat
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For science, I watched 100 @facebook reels. Here is a breakdown: 35 ads 15 things I actually wanted to see 50 things I had no interest in All ads were blocked, all 50 things were blocked, a lot of it was food/health related unlabeled ads that were ads. Thanks @Meta
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Replace Trevor Noah with Jimmy Carr and the list will immediately improve.
Always flying the flag, me 🇬🇧
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The man who runs away from reporters and street people is saying this.
If the community knows you're not going to run and hide when things get hard, that you're going to be there for them every step of the way, that's when you can start to build trust. Our Community Violence Intervention workers build that trust every day so they can de-escalate and prevent violence before it occurs. @AcclivusChicago
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NEW VIDEO: @ChicagosMayor RUNS from me and another reporter as we tried to ask him about the arrest in the death of Officer Luis Huesca. He did not comment. As you see he drove off. More on this at 4 on @cbschicago
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World Cup action, United States vs Paraguay. Game is solid action, the @FOXSports announcing needs some work. Great crowd sounds, announcers sound like they are in another state swallowing their microphones. Break away action, better go to the sidelines instead. 👎 #FWC26
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You reported racist rioting in Belfast after a migrant stabbed someone. You left out the attempted beheading part. I suggest this level 3 cert/refresher on basic journalism. It will help you going forward. nctj.com/qualifications-cour…
What we know about Belfast attack and disorder bbc.in/3SfVf9g
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Durts McGlurp retweeted
we’ve normalized checking your phone first thing in the morning which means we let someone else set our emotional tone for the day. that's a significant amount of control to hand over before you've had your steak and eggs. the feed can wait until you feed yourself steak-umm bless
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Hello ma'am, you could start with "don't stab people". That would help. You could also go with "don't stab or shoot people" too. That statistically would cover quite a bit of armed violence, both as a whole and demographically.
Karmelo Anthony supporter: "What do you want us to do at this point? What should I tell my 5 boys?"
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Breaking: Meteorologists confirm storm is due to centuries of white domination of the jet stream. Intersectional analysis shows it's punching down on vulnerable barometers. As an ally, I'm checking my sky privilege and demanding reparations in the form of rainbows. #ClimateEquity
it was nice knowing you wisconsin and illinois
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It's Tuesday. You're alive and able to understand this post. Give praise and carry on with your day. Be thankful you don't have a 220vac light fixture filling up with water in your workspace.
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Being unable to do their best on American soil has been a British problem since 1776.
England players face the impact of playing in the Florida heat 🥵
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