What do men want?
When I was in my 20s, I was a different type of young man. Others were drinking beer and chasing girls, but I was building a business and not drinking, but still chasing girls.
As I grew older and became more stable in my career, I wanted a family. However, I went through many failed relationships before finally realizing that it wasn't about them, but about me. I looked inward and changed myself to a more patient, more generous, and less impulsive person.
I also found religion again, and it made all the difference. I got the best life partner I could have ever imagined. A blessing. It was given to me by the grace of God. I didn't create it. I learned a great deal from that process about what is truly important in life and how to achieve it.
We believe too much that everything we do is why we get what we want and that we deserve it. The best things you have today are likely things you didn't deserve but got anyway. We should not become conceited or arrogant as it could have been much worse.
Grace isn't about NOT hustling and waiting for miracles, but knowing that even while hustling, you could be a tool for blessing others while you are being blessed. I discovered that doing good to others in relationships and avoiding a transactional approach compounds blessings.
I was having a conversation with my cousin in his mid-30s this morning about career and settling down to build a family and realized that it wasn't going to be about anything he did right but about what God determined was right.
A good friend who had ticked all the right boxes in her life, got a first class degree and a PhD before 24, called me three days to her wedding and wanted me to tell her something to make her know if she was right about going forward. I sent her Psalm 127 v 1.
“Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain”
This post wasn't meant to be all religious and “preachy” but it is International Men’s Day and I believe that what makes you a man is Grace and not bravado or hype. Real men pray and do good things. They are also blessed abundantly when they are blessings to others. Help a fellow human today.